Speeches (Lines) for Biondello in "The Taming of the Shrew"

Lucentio. Tranio, be so because Lucentio loves;
And let me be a slave t' achieve that maid
Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye.
[Enter BIONDELLO.]
Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been?

Biondello. Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you?
Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes?
Or you stol'n his? or both? Pray, what's the news?

Lucentio. Sirrah, come hither; 'tis no time to jest,
And therefore frame your manners to the time.
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life,
Puts my apparel and my count'nance on,
And I for my escape have put on his;
For in a quarrel since I came ashore
I kill'd a man, and fear I was descried.
Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes,
While I make way from hence to save my life.
You understand me?

Biondello. I, sir? Ne'er a whit.

Lucentio. And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth:
Tranio is chang'd into Lucentio.

Biondello. The better for him; would I were so too!

Tranio. Gentlemen, God save you! If I may be bold,
Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

Biondello. He that has the two fair daughters; is't he you mean?

Baptista Minola. Is it new and old too? How may that be?

Biondello. Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming?

Baptista Minola. Is he come?

Biondello. Why, no, sir.

Baptista Minola. What then?

Biondello. He is coming.

Baptista Minola. When will he be here?

Biondello. When he stands where I am and sees you there.

Tranio. But, say, what to thine old news?

Biondello. Why, Petruchio is coming- in a new hat and an old
jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turn'd; a pair of boots
that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another lac'd; an old
rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt,
and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse hipp'd, with an
old motley saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possess'd
with the glanders and like to mose in the chine, troubled with
the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped
with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives,
stark spoil'd with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, sway'd in
the back and shoulder-shotten, near-legg'd before, and with a
half-cheek'd bit, and a head-stall of sheep's leather which,
being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often
burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times piec'd,
and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her
name fairly set down in studs, and here and there piec'd with
pack-thread.

Baptista Minola. Who comes with him?

Biondello. O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparison'd like
the horse- with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose
on the other, gart'red with a red and blue list; an old hat, and
the humour of forty fancies prick'd in't for a feather; a
monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian
footboy or a gentleman's lackey.

Baptista Minola. I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.

Biondello. Why, sir, he comes not.

Baptista Minola. Didst thou not say he comes?

Biondello. Who? that Petruchio came?

Baptista Minola. Ay, that Petruchio came.

Biondello. No, sir; I say his horse comes with him on his back.

Baptista Minola. Why, that's all one.

Biondello. Nay, by Saint Jamy,
I hold you a penny,
A horse and a man
Is more than one,
And yet not many.

Tranio. Ay, mistress; and Petruchio is the master,
That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long,
To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.

Biondello. O master, master I have watch'd so long
That I am dog-weary; but at last I spied
An ancient angel coming down the hill
Will serve the turn.

Tranio. What is he, Biondello?

Biondello. Master, a mercatante or a pedant,
I know not what; but formal in apparel,
In gait and countenance surely like a father.

Tranio. He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,
In count'nance somewhat doth resemble you.

Biondello. [Aside] As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all
one.

Tranio. Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,
Now do your duty throughly, I advise you.
Imagine 'twere the right Vincentio.

Biondello. Tut, fear not me.

Tranio. But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?

Biondello. I told him that your father was at Venice,
And that you look'd for him this day in Padua.

Baptista Minola. It likes me well. Cambio, hie you home,
And bid Bianca make her ready straight;
And, if you will, tell what hath happened-
Lucentio's father is arriv'd in Padua,
And how she's like to be Lucentio's wife. Exit LUCENTIO

Biondello. I pray the gods she may, with all my heart.

Baptista Minola. I follow you. Exeunt

Biondello. Cambio.

Lucentio. What say'st thou, Biondello?

Biondello. You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?

Lucentio. Biondello, what of that?

Biondello. Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind to expound
the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.

Lucentio. I pray thee moralize them.

Biondello. Then thus: Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving
father of a deceitful son.

Lucentio. And what of him?

Biondello. His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

Lucentio. And then?

Biondello. The old priest at Saint Luke's church is at your command
at all hours.

Lucentio. And what of all this?

Biondello. I cannot tell, except they are busied about a
counterfeit assurance. Take your assurance of her, cum privilegio
ad imprimendum solum; to th' church take the priest, clerk, and
some sufficient honest witnesses.
If this be not that you look for, I have more to say,
But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.

Lucentio. Hear'st thou, Biondello?

Biondello. I cannot tarry. I knew a wench married in an afternoon
as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so
may you, sir; and so adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to
go to Saint Luke's to bid the priest be ready to come against you
come with your appendix.

Hortensio. Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.
Have to my widow; and if she be froward,
Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward. Exit

Biondello. Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.

Lucentio. I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at
home, therefore leave us.

Biondello. Nay, faith, I'll see the church a your back, and then
come back to my master's as soon as I can.

Pedant. Lay hands on the villain; I believe 'a means to cozen
somebody in this city under my countenance.

Biondello. I have seen them in the church together. God send 'em
good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vincentio! Now we
are undone and brought to nothing.

Vincentio. [Seeing BIONDELLO] Come hither, crack-hemp.

Biondello. I hope I may choose, sir.

Vincentio. Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

Biondello. Forgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never
saw you before in all my life.

Vincentio. What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy
master's father, Vincentio?

Biondello. What, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see
where he looks out of the window.

Vincentio. Is't so, indeed? [He beats BIONDELLO]

Biondello. Help, help, help! Here's a madman will murder me.

Vincentio. Thus strangers may be hal'd and abus'd. O monstrous
villain!

Biondello. O, we are spoil'd; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear
him, or else we are all undone.

Lucentio. That will I.
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

Biondello. I go. Exit

Lucentio. I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
How now! what news?

Biondello. Sir, my mistress sends you word
That she is busy and she cannot come.

Hortensio. I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
Now, where's my wife?

Biondello. She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
She will not come; she bids you come to her.