Speeches (Lines) for Diomedes in "Troilus and Cressida"

Nestor. [Aside to DIOMEDES] O, this is well; he rubs the
vein of him.

Diomedes. [Aside to NESTOR] And how his silence drinks up
this applause!

Nestor. Our noble general, do not do so.

Diomedes. You must prepare to fight without Achilles.

Ulysses. If he were proud,--

Diomedes. Or covetous of praise,--

Ulysses. Ay, or surly borne,--

Diomedes. Or strange, or self-affected!

Nestor. Ay, my good son.

Diomedes. Be ruled by him, Lord Ajax.

Agamemnon. Let Diomedes bear him,
And bring us Cressid hither: Calchas shall have
What he requests of us. Good Diomed,
Furnish you fairly for this interchange:
Withal bring word if Hector will to-morrow
Be answer'd in his challenge: Ajax is ready.

Diomedes. This shall I undertake; and 'tis a burden
Which I am proud to bear.

Aeneas. Is the prince there in person?
Had I so good occasion to lie long
As you, prince Paris, nothing but heavenly business
Should rob my bed-mate of my company.

Diomedes. That's my mind too. Good morrow, Lord AEneas.

Aeneas. Health to you, valiant sir,
During all question of the gentle truce;
But when I meet you arm'd, as black defiance
As heart can think or courage execute.

Diomedes. The one and other Diomed embraces.
Our bloods are now in calm; and, so long, health!
But when contention and occasion meet,
By Jove, I'll play the hunter for thy life
With all my force, pursuit and policy.

Aeneas. And thou shalt hunt a lion, that will fly
With his face backward. In humane gentleness,
Welcome to Troy! now, by Anchises' life,
Welcome, indeed! By Venus' hand I swear,
No man alive can love in such a sort
The thing he means to kill more excellently.

Diomedes. We sympathize: Jove, let AEneas live,
If to my sword his fate be not the glory,
A thousand complete courses of the sun!
But, in mine emulous honour, let him die,
With every joint a wound, and that to-morrow!

Aeneas. We know each other well.

Diomedes. We do; and long to know each other worse.

Paris. And tell me, noble Diomed, faith, tell me true,
Even in the soul of sound good-fellowship,
Who, in your thoughts, merits fair Helen best,
Myself or Menelaus?

Diomedes. Both alike:
He merits well to have her, that doth seek her,
Not making any scruple of her soilure,
With such a hell of pain and world of charge,
And you as well to keep her, that defend her,
Not palating the taste of her dishonour,
With such a costly loss of wealth and friends:
He, like a puling cuckold, would drink up
The lees and dregs of a flat tamed piece;
You, like a lecher, out of whorish loins
Are pleased to breed out your inheritors:
Both merits poised, each weighs nor less nor more;
But he as he, the heavier for a whore.

Paris. You are too bitter to your countrywoman.

Diomedes. She's bitter to her country: hear me, Paris:
For every false drop in her bawdy veins
A Grecian's life hath sunk; for every scruple
Of her contaminated carrion weight,
A Trojan hath been slain: since she could speak,
She hath not given so many good words breath
As for her Greeks and Trojans suffer'd death.

Troilus. Who, I? alas, it is my vice, my fault:
Whiles others fish with craft for great opinion,
I with great truth catch mere simplicity;
Whilst some with cunning gild their copper crowns,
With truth and plainness I do wear mine bare.
Fear not my truth: the moral of my wit
Is 'plain and true;' there's all the reach of it.
[Enter AENEAS, PARIS, ANTENOR, DEIPHOBUS,]
and DIOMEDES]
Welcome, Sir Diomed! here is the lady
Which for Antenor we deliver you:
At the port, lord, I'll give her to thy hand,
And by the way possess thee what she is.
Entreat her fair; and, by my soul, fair Greek,
If e'er thou stand at mercy of my sword,
Name Cressida and thy life shall be as safe
As Priam is in Ilion.

Diomedes. Fair Lady Cressid,
So please you, save the thanks this prince expects:
The lustre in your eye, heaven in your cheek,
Pleads your fair usage; and to Diomed
You shall be mistress, and command him wholly.

Troilus. Grecian, thou dost not use me courteously,
To shame the zeal of my petition to thee
In praising her: I tell thee, lord of Greece,
She is as far high-soaring o'er thy praises
As thou unworthy to be call'd her servant.
I charge thee use her well, even for my charge;
For, by the dreadful Pluto, if thou dost not,
Though the great bulk Achilles be thy guard,
I'll cut thy throat.

Diomedes. O, be not moved, Prince Troilus:
Let me be privileged by my place and message,
To be a speaker free; when I am hence
I'll answer to my lust: and know you, lord,
I'll nothing do on charge: to her own worth
She shall be prized; but that you say 'be't so,'
I'll speak it in my spirit and honour, 'no.'

Agamemnon. Is this the Lady Cressid?

Diomedes. Even she.

Ulysses. Never's my day, and then a kiss of you.

Diomedes. Lady, a word: I'll bring you to your father.

Agamemnon. His blows are well disposed: there, Ajax!

Diomedes. You must no more.

Ajax. I am not warm yet; let us fight again.

Diomedes. As Hector pleases.

Ajax. If I might in entreaties find success--
As seld I have the chance--I would desire
My famous cousin to our Grecian tents.

Diomedes. 'Tis Agamemnon's wish, and great Achilles
Doth long to see unarm'd the valiant Hector.

Achilles. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed,
Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Diomedes. I cannot, lord; I have important business,
The tide whereof is now. Good night, great Hector.

Thersites. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most
unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers
than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend
his mouth, and promise, like Brabbler the hound:
but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it
is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun
borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his
word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than
not to dog him: they say he keeps a Trojan
drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll
after. Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!

Diomedes. What, are you up here, ho? speak.

Calchas. [Within] Who calls?

Diomedes. Calchas, I think. Where's your daughter?

Troilus. Cressid comes forth to him.

Diomedes. How now, my charge!

Thersites. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff;
she's noted.

Diomedes. Will you remember?

Cressida. Remember! yes.

Diomedes. Nay, but do, then;
And let your mind be coupled with your words.

Thersites. Roguery!

Diomedes. Nay, then,--

Cressida. I'll tell you what,--

Diomedes. Foh, foh! come, tell a pin: you are forsworn.

Thersites. A juggling trick,--to be secretly open.

Diomedes. What did you swear you would bestow on me?

Cressida. I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath;
Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

Diomedes. Good night.

Cressida. Diomed,--

Diomedes. No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no more.

Troilus. I pray you, stay; by hell and all hell's torments
I will not speak a word!

Diomedes. And so, good night.

Cressida. Guardian!--why, Greek!

Diomedes. Foh, foh! adieu; you palter.

Thersites. How the devil Luxury, with his fat rump and
potato-finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

Diomedes. But will you, then?

Cressida. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.

Diomedes. Give me some token for the surety of it.

Cressida. You look upon that sleeve; behold it well.
He loved me--O false wench!--Give't me again.

Diomedes. Whose was't?

Thersites. Now she sharpens: well said, whetstone!

Diomedes. I shall have it.

Cressida. What, this?

Diomedes. Ay, that.

Cressida. O, all you gods! O pretty, pretty pledge!
Thy master now lies thinking in his bed
Of thee and me, and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He that takes that doth take my heart withal.

Diomedes. I had your heart before, this follows it.

Cressida. You shall not have it, Diomed; faith, you shall not;
I'll give you something else.

Diomedes. I will have this: whose was it?

Cressida. It is no matter.

Diomedes. Come, tell me whose it was.

Cressida. 'Twas one's that loved me better than you will.
But, now you have it, take it.

Diomedes. Whose was it?

Cressida. By all Diana's waiting-women yond,
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.

Diomedes. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.

Cressida. Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past: and yet it is not;
I will not keep my word.

Diomedes. Why, then, farewell;
Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.

Cressida. You shall not go: one cannot speak a word,
But it straight starts you.

Diomedes. I do not like this fooling.

Thersites. Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes not you pleases me best.

Diomedes. What, shall I come? the hour?

Cressida. Ay, come:--O Jove!--do come:--I shall be plagued.

Diomedes. Farewell till then.

Troilus. Fly not; for shouldst thou take the river Styx,
I would swim after.

Diomedes. Thou dost miscall retire:
I do not fly, but advantageous care
Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:
Have at thee!

Thersites. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a
plague break thy neck for frightening me! What's
become of the wenching rogues? I think they have
swallowed one another: I would laugh at that
miracle: yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself.
I'll seek them.

Diomedes. Go, go, my servant, take thou Troilus' horse;
Present the fair steed to my lady Cressid:
Fellow, commend my service to her beauty;
Tell her I have chastised the amorous Trojan,
And am her knight by proof.

Ajax. Troilus! thou coward Troilus!

Diomedes. Ay, there, there.

Ajax. Troilus, thou coward Troilus, show thy head!

Diomedes. Troilus, I say! where's Troilus?

Ajax. What wouldst thou?

Diomedes. I would correct him.

Troilus. O traitor Diomed! turn thy false face, thou traitor,
And pay thy life thou owest me for my horse!

Diomedes. Ha, art thou there?

Ajax. I'll fight with him alone: stand, Diomed.

Diomedes. He is my prize; I will not look upon.

Nestor. Peace, drums!
[Within]
Achilles! Achilles! Hector's slain! Achilles.

Diomedes. The bruit is, Hector's slain, and by Achilles.