Speeches (Lines) for Launce in "The Two Gentlemen of Verona"

Total: 68
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# Act / Scene Speech text
1 II / 3
  • Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
    all the kind of the Launce...
  • Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
    all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
    have received my proportion, like the prodigious
    son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
    court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
    dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
    wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
    wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
    perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
    one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
    has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
    wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
    having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
    parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
    shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
    no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
    cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
    hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
    it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
    on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
    sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
    as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
    am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
    dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
    so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
    now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
    now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
    come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
    like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
    'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
    come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
    the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
    word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
  • Proteus. Go; I come, I come.
    Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.

    Launce. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
    all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
    have received my proportion, like the prodigious
    son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
    court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
    dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
    wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
    wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
    perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
    one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
    has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
    wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
    having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
    parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
    shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
    no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
    cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
    hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
    it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
    on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
    sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
    as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
    am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
    dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
    so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
    now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
    now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
    come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
    like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
    'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
    come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
    the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
    word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.

2 II / 3
  • It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
    unkindest tied that eve...
  • It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
    unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
  • Panthino. Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shipped
    and thou art to post after with oars. What's the
    matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! You'll
    lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

    Launce. It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
    unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

3 II / 3
  • Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
  • Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
  • Panthino. What's the unkindest tide?

    Launce. Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.

4 II / 3
  • For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
  • For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
  • Panthino. Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, in
    losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing
    thy voyage, lose thy master, and, in losing thy
    master, lose thy service, and, in losing thy
    service,--Why dost thou stop my mouth?

    Launce. For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.

5 II / 3
  • In thy tale.
  • In thy tale.
  • Panthino. Where should I lose my tongue?

    Launce. In thy tale.

6 II / 3
  • Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
    the service, and the tied...
  • Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
    the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
    were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
    wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
  • Panthino. In thy tail!

    Launce. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
    the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
    were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
    wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.

7 II / 3
  • Sir, call me what thou darest.
  • Sir, call me what thou darest.
  • Panthino. Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.

    Launce. Sir, call me what thou darest.

8 II / 3
  • Well, I will go.
  • Well, I will go.
  • Panthino. Wilt thou go?

    Launce. Well, I will go.

9 II / 5
  • Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
    welcome. I reckon this alway...
  • Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
    welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
    undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
    place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
    say 'Welcome!'
  • Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

    Launce. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
    welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
    undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
    place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
    say 'Welcome!'

10 II / 5
  • Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
    fairly in jest.
  • Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
    fairly in jest.
  • Speed. Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
    presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
    shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
    did thy master part with Madam Julia?

    Launce. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
    fairly in jest.

11 II / 5
  • No.
  • No.
  • Speed. But shall she marry him?

    Launce. No.

12 II / 5
  • No, neither.
  • No, neither.
  • Speed. How then? shall he marry her?

    Launce. No, neither.

13 II / 5
  • No, they are both as whole as a fish.
  • No, they are both as whole as a fish.
  • Speed. What, are they broken?

    Launce. No, they are both as whole as a fish.

14 II / 5
  • Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
    stands well with her.
  • Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
    stands well with her.
  • Speed. Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

    Launce. Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
    stands well with her.

15 II / 5
  • What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
    staff understands me.
  • What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
    staff understands me.
  • Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

    Launce. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
    staff understands me.

16 II / 5
  • Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
    and my staff understands me...
  • Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
    and my staff understands me.
  • Speed. What thou sayest?

    Launce. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
    and my staff understands me.

17 II / 5
  • Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
  • Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
  • Speed. It stands under thee, indeed.

    Launce. Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

18 II / 5
  • Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
    it will; if he shake his ta...
  • Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
    it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
  • Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match?

    Launce. Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
    it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

19 II / 5
  • Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
  • Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
  • Speed. The conclusion is then that it will.

    Launce. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

20 II / 5
  • I never knew him otherwise.
  • I never knew him otherwise.
  • Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
    thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

    Launce. I never knew him otherwise.

21 II / 5
  • A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
  • A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
  • Speed. Than how?

    Launce. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

22 II / 5
  • Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
  • Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
  • Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.

    Launce. Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

23 II / 5
  • Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
    in love. If thou wilt, g...
  • Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
    in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
    if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
    name of a Christian.
  • Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

    Launce. Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
    in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
    if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
    name of a Christian.

24 II / 5
  • Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
    go to the ale with a Chr...
  • Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
    go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
  • Speed. Why?

    Launce. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
    go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

25 III / 1
  • Soho, soho!
  • Soho, soho!
  • Proteus. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.

    Launce. Soho, soho!

26 III / 1
  • Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head
    but 'tis a Valentine.
  • Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head
    but 'tis a Valentine.
  • Proteus. What seest thou?

    Launce. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head
    but 'tis a Valentine.

27 III / 1
  • Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
  • Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
  • Valentine. Nothing.

    Launce. Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?

28 III / 1
  • Nothing.
  • Nothing.
  • Proteus. Who wouldst thou strike?

    Launce. Nothing.

29 III / 1
  • Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,--
  • Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,--
  • Proteus. Villain, forbear.

    Launce. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,--

30 III / 1
  • Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
  • Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
  • Valentine. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
    What is your news?

    Launce. Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.

31 III / 1
  • I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
    think my master is a ki...
  • I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
    think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
    all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
    that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
    team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
    'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
    will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
    'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
    a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
    wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
    which is much in a bare Christian.
    [Pulling out a paper]
    Here is the cate-log of her condition.
    'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
    can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
    carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
    She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
    with clean hands.
  • Valentine. O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!

    Launce. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
    think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
    all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
    that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
    team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
    'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
    will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
    'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
    a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
    wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
    which is much in a bare Christian.
    [Pulling out a paper]
    Here is the cate-log of her condition.
    'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
    can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
    carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
    She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
    with clean hands.

32 III / 1
  • With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
  • With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
  • Speed. How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
    mastership?

    Launce. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.

33 III / 1
  • The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
  • The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
  • Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
    news, then, in your paper?

    Launce. The blackest news that ever thou heardest.

34 III / 1
  • Why, as black as ink.
  • Why, as black as ink.
  • Speed. Why, man, how black?

    Launce. Why, as black as ink.

35 III / 1
  • Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.
  • Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.
  • Speed. Let me read them.

    Launce. Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.

36 III / 1
  • I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
  • I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
  • Speed. Thou liest; I can.

    Launce. I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?

37 III / 1
  • O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
    grandmother: this proves that t...
  • O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
    grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
  • Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather.

    Launce. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
    grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.

38 III / 1
  • There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!
  • There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!
  • Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.

    Launce. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!

39 III / 1
  • Ay, that she can.
  • Ay, that she can.
  • Speed. [Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'

    Launce. Ay, that she can.

40 III / 1
  • And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
    heart, you brew good ale.'
  • And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
    heart, you brew good ale.'
  • Speed. 'Item: She brews good ale.'

    Launce. And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
    heart, you brew good ale.'

41 III / 1
  • That's as much as to say, Can she so?
  • That's as much as to say, Can she so?
  • Speed. 'Item: She can sew.'

    Launce. That's as much as to say, Can she so?

42 III / 1
  • What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
    she can knit him a stock...
  • What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
    she can knit him a stock?
  • Speed. 'Item: She can knit.'

    Launce. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
    she can knit him a stock?

43 III / 1
  • A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
    and scoured.
  • A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
    and scoured.
  • Speed. 'Item: She can wash and scour.'

    Launce. A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
    and scoured.

44 III / 1
  • Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
    spin for her living.
  • Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
    spin for her living.
  • Speed. 'Item: She can spin.'

    Launce. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
    spin for her living.

45 III / 1
  • That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
    indeed, know not their fath...
  • That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
    indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
  • Speed. 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'

    Launce. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
    indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.

46 III / 1
  • Close at the heels of her virtues.
  • Close at the heels of her virtues.
  • Speed. 'Here follow her vices.'

    Launce. Close at the heels of her virtues.

47 III / 1
  • Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
  • Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
  • Speed. 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect
    of her breath.'

    Launce. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.

48 III / 1
  • That makes amends for her sour breath.
  • That makes amends for her sour breath.
  • Speed. 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'

    Launce. That makes amends for her sour breath.

49 III / 1
  • It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
  • It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
  • Speed. 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'

    Launce. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

50 III / 1
  • O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
    be slow in words is a woma...
  • O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
    be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
    thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.
  • Speed. 'Item: She is slow in words.'

    Launce. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
    be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
    thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.

51 III / 1
  • Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
    be ta'en from her.
  • Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
    be ta'en from her.
  • Speed. 'Item: She is proud.'

    Launce. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
    be ta'en from her.

52 III / 1
  • I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
  • I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
  • Speed. 'Item: She hath no teeth.'

    Launce. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.

53 III / 1
  • Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
  • Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
  • Speed. 'Item: She is curst.'

    Launce. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.

54 III / 1
  • If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
    will; for good things s...
  • If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
    will; for good things should be praised.
  • Speed. 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'

    Launce. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
    will; for good things should be praised.

55 III / 1
  • Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
    is slow of; of her purse...
  • Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
    is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
    I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
    that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
  • Speed. 'Item: She is too liberal.'

    Launce. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
    is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
    I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
    that cannot I help. Well, proceed.

56 III / 1
  • Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
    mine, twice or thrice in th...
  • Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
    mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
    Rehearse that once more.
  • Speed. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
    than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'

    Launce. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
    mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
    Rehearse that once more.

57 III / 1
  • More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
    cover of the salt hides th...
  • More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
    cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
    is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
    is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
    less. What's next?
  • Speed. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--

    Launce. More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
    cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
    is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
    is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
    less. What's next?

58 III / 1
  • That's monstrous: O, that that were out!
  • That's monstrous: O, that that were out!
  • Speed. 'And more faults than hairs,'--

    Launce. That's monstrous: O, that that were out!

59 III / 1
  • Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
    I'll have her; and if it be...
  • Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
    I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
    impossible,--
  • Speed. 'And more wealth than faults.'

    Launce. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
    I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
    impossible,--

60 III / 1
  • Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays
    for thee at the North-gate...
  • Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays
    for thee at the North-gate.
  • Speed. What then?

    Launce. Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays
    for thee at the North-gate.

61 III / 1
  • For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
    better man than thee.
  • For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
    better man than thee.
  • Speed. For me?

    Launce. For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
    better man than thee.

62 III / 1
  • Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
    that going will scarce se...
  • Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
    that going will scarce serve the turn.
  • Speed. And must I go to him?

    Launce. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
    that going will scarce serve the turn.

63 III / 1
  • Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
    unmannerly slave, that will...
  • Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
    unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into
    secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
  • Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!

    Launce. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
    unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into
    secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.

64 IV / 4
  • When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
    look you, it goes hard: on...
  • When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
    look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
    puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
    four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
    I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
    'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
    him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
    and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
    steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
    O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
    in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
    one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
    as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
    more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
    I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
    live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
    thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
    gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
    not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but
    all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
    one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
    out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
    I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
    knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
    whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
    the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
    the more wrong,' quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you
    wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
    of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
    his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
    stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
    been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
    he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
    Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
    trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
    Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
    do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
    water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
    thou ever see me do such a trick?
  • Silvia. Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.

    Launce. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
    look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
    puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
    four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
    I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
    'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
    him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
    and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
    steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
    O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
    in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
    one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
    as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
    more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
    I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
    live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
    thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
    gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
    not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but
    all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
    one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
    out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
    I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
    knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
    whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
    the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
    the more wrong,' quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you
    wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
    of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
    his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
    stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
    been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
    he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
    Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
    trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
    Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
    do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
    water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
    thou ever see me do such a trick?

65 IV / 4
  • Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
  • Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
  • Proteus. I hope thou wilt.
    [To LAUNCE]
    How now, you whoreson peasant!
    Where have you been these two days loitering?

    Launce. Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.

66 IV / 4
  • Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
    currish thanks is good eno...
  • Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
    currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
  • Proteus. And what says she to my little jewel?

    Launce. Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
    currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

67 IV / 4
  • No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
    back again.
  • No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
    back again.
  • Proteus. But she received my dog?

    Launce. No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
    back again.

68 IV / 4
  • Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
    the hangman boys in the ma...
  • Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
    the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
    offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
    yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
  • Proteus. What, didst thou offer her this from me?

    Launce. Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
    the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
    offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
    yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

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© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.