Speeches (Lines) for Maria in "Twelfth Night; or, What You Will"

Total: 59
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# Act / Scene Speech text
1 I / 3
  • By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'
    nights: your cousin, my l...
  • By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'
    nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great
    exceptions to your ill hours.
  • Sir Toby Belch. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of
    her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life.

    Maria. By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'
    nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great
    exceptions to your ill hours.

2 I / 3
  • Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest
    limits of order.
  • Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest
    limits of order.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Why, let her except, before excepted.

    Maria. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest
    limits of order.

3 I / 3
  • That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard
    my lady talk of it yesterd...
  • That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard
    my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish
    knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Confine! I'll confine myself no finer than I am:
    these clothes are good enough to drink in; and so be
    these boots too: an they be not, let them hang
    themselves in their own straps.

    Maria. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard
    my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish
    knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

4 I / 3
  • Ay, he.
  • Ay, he.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

    Maria. Ay, he.

5 I / 3
  • What's that to the purpose?
  • What's that to the purpose?
  • Sir Toby Belch. He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.

    Maria. What's that to the purpose?

6 I / 3
  • Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats:
    he's a very fool and a pr...
  • Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats:
    he's a very fool and a prodigal.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

    Maria. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats:
    he's a very fool and a prodigal.

7 I / 3
  • He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that
    he's a fool, he's a great q...
  • He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that
    he's a fool, he's a great quarreller: and but that
    he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he
    hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent
    he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o' the
    viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages
    word for word without book, and hath all the good
    gifts of nature.

    Maria. He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that
    he's a fool, he's a great quarreller: and but that
    he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he
    hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent
    he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

8 I / 3
  • They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
  • They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
  • Sir Toby Belch. By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors
    that say so of him. Who are they?

    Maria. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.

9 I / 3
  • And you too, sir.
  • And you too, sir.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Bless you, fair shrew.

    Maria. And you too, sir.

10 I / 3
  • My name is Mary, sir.
  • My name is Mary, sir.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

    Maria. My name is Mary, sir.

11 I / 3
  • Fare you well, gentlemen.
  • Fare you well, gentlemen.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this
    company. Is that the meaning of 'accost'?

    Maria. Fare you well, gentlemen.

12 I / 3
  • Sir, I have not you by the hand.
  • Sir, I have not you by the hand.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never
    draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have
    fools in hand?

    Maria. Sir, I have not you by the hand.

13 I / 3
  • Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring
    your hand to the buttery-bar...
  • Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring
    your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Marry, but you shall have; and here's my hand.

    Maria. Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring
    your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

14 I / 3
  • It's dry, sir.
  • It's dry, sir.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Wherefore, sweet-heart? what's your metaphor?

    Maria. It's dry, sir.

15 I / 3
  • A dry jest, sir.
  • A dry jest, sir.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Why, I think so: I am not such an ass but I can
    keep my hand dry. But what's your jest?

    Maria. A dry jest, sir.

16 I / 3
  • Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry,
    now I let go your hand, I a...
  • Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry,
    now I let go your hand, I am barren.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Are you full of them?

    Maria. Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry,
    now I let go your hand, I am barren.

17 I / 5
  • Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will
    not open my lips so wide...
  • Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will
    not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in
    way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.
  • Viola. I'll do my best
    To woo your lady:
    [Aside]
    yet, a barful strife!
    Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

    Maria. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will
    not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in
    way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.

18 I / 5
  • Make that good.
  • Make that good.
  • Feste. Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this
    world needs to fear no colours.

    Maria. Make that good.

19 I / 5
  • A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that
    saying was born, of 'I fear...
  • A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that
    saying was born, of 'I fear no colours.'
  • Feste. He shall see none to fear.

    Maria. A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that
    saying was born, of 'I fear no colours.'

20 I / 5
  • In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
  • In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
  • Feste. Where, good Mistress Mary?

    Maria. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

21 I / 5
  • Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or,
    to be turned away, is n...
  • Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or,
    to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?
  • Feste. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those
    that are fools, let them use their talents.

    Maria. Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or,
    to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?

22 I / 5
  • You are resolute, then?
  • You are resolute, then?
  • Feste. Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and,
    for turning away, let summer bear it out.

    Maria. You are resolute, then?

23 I / 5
  • That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both
    break, your gaskins fall...
  • That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both
    break, your gaskins fall.
  • Feste. Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two points.

    Maria. That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both
    break, your gaskins fall.

24 I / 5
  • Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my
    lady: make your excuse wise...
  • Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my
    lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best.
  • Feste. Apt, in good faith; very apt. Well, go thy way; if
    Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a
    piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.

    Maria. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my
    lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best.

25 I / 5
  • Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
    desires to speak with you...
  • Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
    desires to speak with you.
  • Feste. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
    speakest well of fools!

    Maria. Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
    desires to speak with you.

26 I / 5
  • I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.
  • I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.
  • Olivia. From the Count Orsino, is it?

    Maria. I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.

27 I / 5
  • Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
  • Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
  • Olivia. Who of my people hold him in delay?

    Maria. Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.

28 I / 5
  • Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way.
  • Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way.
  • Olivia. It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you,
    keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates,
    and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you
    than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if
    you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of
    moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.

    Maria. Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your way.

29 II / 3
  • What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady
    have not called up her stew...
  • What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady
    have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid him
    turn you out of doors, never trust me.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Good, i' faith. Come, begin.

    Maria. What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady
    have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid him
    turn you out of doors, never trust me.

30 II / 3
  • For the love o' God, peace!
  • For the love o' God, peace!
  • Sir Toby Belch. [Sings] 'O, the twelfth day of December,'--

    Maria. For the love o' God, peace!

31 II / 3
  • Nay, good Sir Toby.
  • Nay, good Sir Toby.
  • Sir Toby Belch. 'Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.'

    Maria. Nay, good Sir Toby.

32 II / 3
  • Go shake your ears.
  • Go shake your ears.
  • Malvolio. Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at any
    thing more than contempt, you would not give means
    for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it, by this hand.

    Maria. Go shake your ears.

33 II / 3
  • Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the
    youth of the count's was t...
  • Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the
    youth of the count's was today with thy lady, she is
    much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me
    alone with him: if I do not gull him into a
    nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not
    think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed:
    I know I can do it.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Do't, knight: I'll write thee a challenge: or I'll
    deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

    Maria. Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the
    youth of the count's was today with thy lady, she is
    much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me
    alone with him: if I do not gull him into a
    nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not
    think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed:
    I know I can do it.

34 II / 3
  • Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.
  • Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Possess us, possess us; tell us something of him.

    Maria. Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.

35 II / 3
  • The devil a puritan that he is, or any thing
    constantly, but a time-pleaser;...
  • The devil a puritan that he is, or any thing
    constantly, but a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass,
    that cons state without book and utters it by great
    swarths: the best persuaded of himself, so
    crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is
    his grounds of faith that all that look on him love
    him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find
    notable cause to work.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason
    good enough.

    Maria. The devil a puritan that he is, or any thing
    constantly, but a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass,
    that cons state without book and utters it by great
    swarths: the best persuaded of himself, so
    crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is
    his grounds of faith that all that look on him love
    him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find
    notable cause to work.

36 II / 3
  • I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of
    love; wherein, by the colour...
  • I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of
    love; wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape
    of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure
    of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find
    himself most feelingly personated. I can write very
    like my lady your niece: on a forgotten matter we
    can hardly make distinction of our hands.
  • Sir Toby Belch. What wilt thou do?

    Maria. I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of
    love; wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape
    of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure
    of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find
    himself most feelingly personated. I can write very
    like my lady your niece: on a forgotten matter we
    can hardly make distinction of our hands.

37 II / 3
  • My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
  • My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
  • Sir Toby Belch. He shall think, by the letters that thou wilt drop,
    that they come from my niece, and that she's in
    love with him.

    Maria. My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.

38 II / 3
  • Ass, I doubt not.
  • Ass, I doubt not.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. And your horse now would make him an ass.

    Maria. Ass, I doubt not.

39 II / 3
  • Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will
    work with him. I will plan...
  • Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will
    work with him. I will plant you two, and let the
    fool make a third, where he shall find the letter:
    observe his construction of it. For this night, to
    bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.
  • Sir Andrew Aguecheek. O, 'twill be admirable!

    Maria. Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will
    work with him. I will plant you two, and let the
    fool make a third, where he shall find the letter:
    observe his construction of it. For this night, to
    bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.

40 II / 5
  • Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's
    coming down this walk: he has...
  • Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's
    coming down this walk: he has been yonder i' the
    sun practising behavior to his own shadow this half
    hour: observe him, for the love of mockery; for I
    know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
    him. Close, in the name of jesting! Lie thou there,
    [Throws down a letter]
    for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Here comes the little villain.
    [Enter MARIA]
    How now, my metal of India!

    Maria. Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's
    coming down this walk: he has been yonder i' the
    sun practising behavior to his own shadow this half
    hour: observe him, for the love of mockery; for I
    know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
    him. Close, in the name of jesting! Lie thou there,
    [Throws down a letter]
    for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.

41 II / 5
  • Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
  • Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
  • Sir Toby Belch. Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when
    the image of it leaves him he must run mad.

    Maria. Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?

42 II / 5
  • If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark
    his first approach before...
  • If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark
    his first approach before my lady: he will come to
    her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she
    abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
    and he will smile upon her, which will now be so
    unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a
    melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him
    into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow
    me.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Like aqua-vitae with a midwife.

    Maria. If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark
    his first approach before my lady: he will come to
    her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she
    abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
    and he will smile upon her, which will now be so
    unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a
    melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him
    into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow
    me.

43 III / 2
  • If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself
    into stitches, follow me....
  • If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself
    into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
    turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
    Christian, that means to be saved by believing
    rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages
    of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.

    Maria. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself
    into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
    turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
    Christian, that means to be saved by believing
    rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages
    of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.

44 III / 2
  • Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school
    i' the church. I have do...
  • Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school
    i' the church. I have dogged him, like his
    murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
    that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his
    face into more lines than is in the new map with the
    augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such
    a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things
    at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do,
    he'll smile and take't for a great favour.
  • Sir Toby Belch. And cross-gartered?

    Maria. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school
    i' the church. I have dogged him, like his
    murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
    that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his
    face into more lines than is in the new map with the
    augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such
    a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things
    at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do,
    he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

45 III / 4
  • He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He
    is, sure, possessed, mada...
  • He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He
    is, sure, possessed, madam.
  • Olivia. I have sent after him: he says he'll come;
    How shall I feast him? what bestow of him?
    For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.
    I speak too loud.
    Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil,
    And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:
    Where is Malvolio?

    Maria. He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He
    is, sure, possessed, madam.

46 III / 4
  • No. madam, he does nothing but smile: your
    ladyship were best to have some g...
  • No. madam, he does nothing but smile: your
    ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if
    he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.
  • Olivia. Why, what's the matter? does he rave?

    Maria. No. madam, he does nothing but smile: your
    ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if
    he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.

47 III / 4
  • How do you, Malvolio?
  • How do you, Malvolio?
  • Olivia. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss
    thy hand so oft?

    Maria. How do you, Malvolio?

48 III / 4
  • Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?
  • Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?
  • Malvolio. At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

    Maria. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?

49 III / 4
  • Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not
    I tell you? Sir Toby, my...
  • Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not
    I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a
    care of him.
  • Malvolio. Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go
    off.

    Maria. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not
    I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a
    care of him.

50 III / 4
  • La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes
    it at heart! Pray God, h...
  • La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes
    it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!
  • Malvolio. Do you know what you say?

    Maria. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes
    it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!

51 III / 4
  • Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I
    live. My lady would not...
  • Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I
    live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.
  • Fabian. Carry his water to the wise woman.

    Maria. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I
    live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.

52 III / 4
  • O Lord!
  • O Lord!
  • Malvolio. How now, mistress!

    Maria. O Lord!

53 III / 4
  • Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.
  • Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.
  • Sir Toby Belch. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for
    gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang
    him, foul collier!

    Maria. Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.

54 III / 4
  • No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
  • No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
  • Malvolio. My prayers, minx!

    Maria. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

55 III / 4
  • Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint.
  • Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint.
  • Sir Toby Belch. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.

    Maria. Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint.

56 III / 4
  • The house will be the quieter.
  • The house will be the quieter.
  • Fabian. Why, we shall make him mad indeed.

    Maria. The house will be the quieter.

57 III / 4
  • You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in
    some commerce with my lad...
  • You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in
    some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.
  • Sir Toby Belch. [Reads] 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon
    one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but
    my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy
    friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
    ANDREW AGUECHEEK.
    If this letter move him not, his legs cannot:
    I'll give't him.

    Maria. You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in
    some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

58 IV / 2
  • Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
    make him believe thou art S...
  • Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
    make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do
    it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst.
  • Olivia. O, say so, and so be!

    Maria. Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
    make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do
    it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst.

59 IV / 2
  • Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
    gown: he sees thee not.
  • Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
    gown: he sees thee not.
  • Feste. Nay, I am for all waters.

    Maria. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
    gown: he sees thee not.

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