Speeches (Lines) for Mistress Ford in "The Merry Wives of Windsor"

Total: 85
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# Act / Scene Speech text
1 II / 1
  • Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.
  • Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.
  • Mistress Page. What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-
    time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them?
    Let me see.
    [Reads]
    'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though
    Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him
    not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more
    am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry,
    so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you
    love sack, and so do I; would you desire better
    sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page,--at
    the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,--
    that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis
    not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me,
    Thine own true knight,
    By day or night,
    Or any kind of light,
    With all his might
    For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF'
    What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked
    world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
    age to show himself a young gallant! What an
    unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
    picked--with the devil's name!--out of my
    conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me?
    Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What
    should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
    mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill
    in the parliament for the putting down of men. How
    shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be,
    as sure as his guts are made of puddings.

    Mistress Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.

2 II / 1
  • Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary.
  • Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary.
  • Mistress Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very
    ill.

    Mistress Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary.

3 II / 1
  • Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the
    contrary. O Mistress Page...
  • Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the
    contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel!
  • Mistress Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind.

    Mistress Ford. Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the
    contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel!

4 II / 1
  • O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I
    could come to such honou...
  • O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I
    could come to such honour!
  • Mistress Page. What's the matter, woman?

    Mistress Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I
    could come to such honour!

5 II / 1
  • If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so,
    I could be knighted.
  • If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so,
    I could be knighted.
  • Mistress Page. Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is
    it? dispense with trifles; what is it?

    Mistress Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so,
    I could be knighted.

6 II / 1
  • We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I
    might be knighted. I shal...
  • We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I
    might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat
    men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of
    men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised
    women's modesty; and gave such orderly and
    well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I
    would have sworn his disposition would have gone to
    the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere
    and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to
    the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow,
    threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his
    belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged
    on him? I think the best way were to entertain him
    with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted
    him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
  • Mistress Page. What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights
    will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the
    article of thy gentry.

    Mistress Ford. We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I
    might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat
    men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of
    men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised
    women's modesty; and gave such orderly and
    well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I
    would have sworn his disposition would have gone to
    the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere
    and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to
    the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow,
    threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his
    belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged
    on him? I think the best way were to entertain him
    with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted
    him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?

7 II / 1
  • Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very
    words. What doth he thin...
  • Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very
    words. What doth he think of us?
  • Mistress Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and
    Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery
    of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy
    letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I
    protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a
    thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for
    different names--sure, more,--and these are of the
    second edition: he will print them, out of doubt;
    for he cares not what he puts into the press, when
    he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess,
    and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you
    twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.

    Mistress Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very
    words. What doth he think of us?

8 II / 1
  • 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him
    above deck.
  • 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him
    above deck.
  • Mistress Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to
    wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain
    myself like one that I am not acquainted withal;
    for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I
    know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

    Mistress Ford. 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him
    above deck.

9 II / 1
  • Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him,
    that may not sully the c...
  • Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him,
    that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O,
    that my husband saw this letter! it would give
    eternal food to his jealousy.
  • Mistress Page. So will I. if he come under my hatches, I'll never
    to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's
    appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in
    his suit and lead him on with a fine-baited delay,
    till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.

    Mistress Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him,
    that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O,
    that my husband saw this letter! it would give
    eternal food to his jealousy.

10 II / 1
  • You are the happier woman.
  • You are the happier woman.
  • Mistress Page. Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's
    as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause;
    and that I hope is an unmeasurable distance.

    Mistress Ford. You are the happier woman.

11 II / 1
  • How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?
  • How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?
  • Mistress Page. Whither go you, George? Hark you.

    Mistress Ford. How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?

12 II / 1
  • Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now,
    will you go, Mistress Page...
  • Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now,
    will you go, Mistress Page?
  • Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home, go.

    Mistress Ford. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now,
    will you go, Mistress Page?

13 II / 1
  • [Aside to MISTRESS PAGE] Trust me, I thought on her:
    she'll fit it.
  • [Aside to MISTRESS PAGE] Trust me, I thought on her:
    she'll fit it.
  • Mistress Page. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George.
    [Aside to MISTRESS FORD]
    Look who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger
    to this paltry knight.

    Mistress Ford. [Aside to MISTRESS PAGE] Trust me, I thought on her:
    she'll fit it.

14 III / 3
  • What, John! What, Robert!
  • What, John! What, Robert!
  • All. Have with you to see this monster.

    Mistress Ford. What, John! What, Robert!

15 III / 3
  • I warrant. What, Robin, I say!
  • I warrant. What, Robin, I say!
  • Mistress Page. Quickly, quickly! is the buck-basket--

    Mistress Ford. I warrant. What, Robin, I say!

16 III / 3
  • Here, set it down.
  • Here, set it down.
  • Mistress Page. Come, come, come.

    Mistress Ford. Here, set it down.

17 III / 3
  • Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be
    ready here hard by in the b...
  • Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be
    ready here hard by in the brew-house: and when I
    suddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause
    or staggering take this basket on your shoulders:
    that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry
    it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there
    empty it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side.
  • Mistress Page. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.

    Mistress Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be
    ready here hard by in the brew-house: and when I
    suddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause
    or staggering take this basket on your shoulders:
    that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry
    it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there
    empty it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side.

18 III / 3
  • I ha' told them over and over; they lack no
    direction. Be gone, and come whe...
  • I ha' told them over and over; they lack no
    direction. Be gone, and come when you are called.
  • Mistress Page. You will do it?

    Mistress Ford. I ha' told them over and over; they lack no
    direction. Be gone, and come when you are called.

19 III / 3
  • How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?
  • How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?
  • Mistress Page. Here comes little Robin.

    Mistress Ford. How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?

20 III / 3
  • Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone.
    [Exit ROBIN]
    Mistress Page, rememb...
  • Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone.
    [Exit ROBIN]
    Mistress Page, remember you your cue.
  • Mistress Page. Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine shall be
    a tailor to thee and shall make thee a new doublet
    and hose. I'll go hide me.

    Mistress Ford. Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone.
    [Exit ROBIN]
    Mistress Page, remember you your cue.

21 III / 3
  • Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity,
    this gross watery pumpion;...
  • Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity,
    this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know
    turtles from jays.
  • Mistress Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me.

    Mistress Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity,
    this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know
    turtles from jays.

22 III / 3
  • O sweet Sir John!
  • O sweet Sir John!
  • Falstaff. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let
    me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the
    period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!

    Mistress Ford. O sweet Sir John!

23 III / 3
  • I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady!
  • I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady!
  • Falstaff. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate,
    Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would
    thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the
    best lord; I would make thee my lady.

    Mistress Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady!

24 III / 3
  • A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing
    else; nor that well neit...
  • A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing
    else; nor that well neither.
  • Falstaff. Let the court of France show me such another. I see
    how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast
    the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the
    ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of
    Venetian admittance.

    Mistress Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing
    else; nor that well neither.

25 III / 3
  • Believe me, there is no such thing in me.
  • Believe me, there is no such thing in me.
  • Falstaff. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou
    wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm
    fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion
    to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see
    what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature
    thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

    Mistress Ford. Believe me, there is no such thing in me.

26 III / 3
  • Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page.
  • Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page.
  • Falstaff. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee
    there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I
    cannot cog and say thou art this and that, like a
    many of these lisping hawthorn-buds, that come like
    women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury
    in simple time; I cannot: but I love thee; none
    but thee; and thou deservest it.

    Mistress Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page.

27 III / 3
  • Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one
    day find it.
  • Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one
    day find it.
  • Falstaff. Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the
    Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek
    of a lime-kiln.

    Mistress Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one
    day find it.

28 III / 3
  • Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not
    be in that mind.
  • Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not
    be in that mind.
  • Falstaff. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

    Mistress Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not
    be in that mind.

29 III / 3
  • Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman.
    [FALSTAFF hides himself]
    [...
  • Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman.
    [FALSTAFF hides himself]
    [Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN]
    What's the matter? how now!
  • Falstaff. She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras.

    Mistress Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman.
    [FALSTAFF hides himself]
    [Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN]
    What's the matter? how now!

30 III / 3
  • What's the matter, good Mistress Page?
  • What's the matter, good Mistress Page?
  • Mistress Page. O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed,
    you're overthrown, you're undone for ever!

    Mistress Ford. What's the matter, good Mistress Page?

31 III / 3
  • What cause of suspicion?
  • What cause of suspicion?
  • Mistress Page. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an honest man
    to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

    Mistress Ford. What cause of suspicion?

32 III / 3
  • Why, alas, what's the matter?
  • Why, alas, what's the matter?
  • Mistress Page. What cause of suspicion! Out pon you! how am I
    mistook in you!

    Mistress Ford. Why, alas, what's the matter?

33 III / 3
  • 'Tis not so, I hope.
  • 'Tis not so, I hope.
  • Mistress Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the
    officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that
    he says is here now in the house by your consent, to
    take an ill advantage of his assence: you are undone.

    Mistress Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.

34 III / 3
  • What shall I do? There is a gentleman my dear
    friend; and I fear not mine ow...
  • What shall I do? There is a gentleman my dear
    friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his
    peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were
    out of the house.
  • Mistress Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man
    here! but 'tis most certain your husband's coming,
    with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a
    one. I come before to tell you. If you know
    yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you
    have a friend here convey, convey him out. Be not
    amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your
    reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

    Mistress Ford. What shall I do? There is a gentleman my dear
    friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his
    peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were
    out of the house.

35 III / 3
  • He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?
  • He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?
  • Mistress Page. For shame! never stand 'you had rather' and 'you
    had rather:' your husband's here at hand, bethink
    you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot
    hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here
    is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he
    may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as
    if it were going to bucking: or--it is whiting-time
    --send him by your two men to Datchet-mead.

    Mistress Ford. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?

36 III / 3
  • What, John! Robert! John!
    [Exit ROBIN]
    [Re-enter Servants]
    Go take u...
  • What, John! Robert! John!
    [Exit ROBIN]
    [Re-enter Servants]
    Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where's the
    cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry them to
    the laundress in Datchet-meat; quickly, come.
  • Mistress Page. Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men,
    Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight!

    Mistress Ford. What, John! Robert! John!
    [Exit ROBIN]
    [Re-enter Servants]
    Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where's the
    cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry them to
    the laundress in Datchet-meat; quickly, come.

37 III / 3
  • Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You
    were best meddle with buc...
  • Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You
    were best meddle with buck-washing.
  • Servant. To the laundress, forsooth.

    Mistress Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You
    were best meddle with buck-washing.

38 III / 3
  • I know not which pleases me better, that my husband
    is deceived, or Sir John...
  • I know not which pleases me better, that my husband
    is deceived, or Sir John.
  • Mistress Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

    Mistress Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband
    is deceived, or Sir John.

39 III / 3
  • I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so
    throwing him into the wate...
  • I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so
    throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.
  • Mistress Page. What a taking was he in when your husband asked who
    was in the basket!

    Mistress Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so
    throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

40 III / 3
  • I think my husband hath some special suspicion of
    Falstaff's being here; for...
  • I think my husband hath some special suspicion of
    Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross
    in his jealousy till now.
  • Mistress Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same
    strain were in the same distress.

    Mistress Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of
    Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross
    in his jealousy till now.

41 III / 3
  • Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress
    Quickly, to him, and excuse his...
  • Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress
    Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the
    water; and give him another hope, to betray him to
    another punishment?
  • Mistress Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have
    more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will
    scarce obey this medicine.

    Mistress Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress
    Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the
    water; and give him another hope, to betray him to
    another punishment?

42 III / 3
  • You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
  • You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
  • Mistress Page. [Aside to MISTRESS FORD] Heard you that?

    Mistress Ford. You use me well, Master Ford, do you?

43 III / 3
  • Heaven make you better than your thoughts!
  • Heaven make you better than your thoughts!
  • Ford. Ay, I do so.

    Mistress Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

44 IV / 2
  • He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.
  • He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.
  • Falstaff. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my
    sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love,
    and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not
    only, Mistress Ford, in the simple
    office of love, but in all the accoutrement,
    complement and ceremony of it. But are you
    sure of your husband now?

    Mistress Ford. He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.

45 IV / 2
  • Step into the chamber, Sir John.
  • Step into the chamber, Sir John.
  • Mistress Page. [Within] What, ho, gossip Ford! what, ho!

    Mistress Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John.

46 IV / 2
  • Why, none but mine own people.
  • Why, none but mine own people.
  • Mistress Page. How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself?

    Mistress Ford. Why, none but mine own people.

47 IV / 2
  • No, certainly.
    [Aside to her]
    Speak louder.
  • No, certainly.
    [Aside to her]
    Speak louder.
  • Mistress Page. Indeed!

    Mistress Ford. No, certainly.
    [Aside to her]
    Speak louder.

48 IV / 2
  • Why?
  • Why?
  • Mistress Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

    Mistress Ford. Why?

49 IV / 2
  • Why, does he talk of him?
  • Why, does he talk of him?
  • Mistress Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again:
    he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails
    against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's
    daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets
    himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer
    out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but
    tameness, civility and patience, to this his
    distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

    Mistress Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

50 IV / 2
  • How near is he, Mistress Page?
  • How near is he, Mistress Page?
  • Mistress Page. Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the
    last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests
    to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and
    the rest of their company from their sport, to make
    another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad
    the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

    Mistress Ford. How near is he, Mistress Page?

51 IV / 2
  • I am undone! The knight is here.
  • I am undone! The knight is here.
  • Mistress Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

    Mistress Ford. I am undone! The knight is here.

52 IV / 2
  • There they always use to discharge their
    birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln...
  • There they always use to discharge their
    birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.
  • Falstaff. What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.

    Mistress Ford. There they always use to discharge their
    birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.

53 IV / 2
  • He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
    coffer, chest, trunk, well, v...
  • He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
    coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an
    abstract for the remembrance of such places, and
    goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.
  • Falstaff. Where is it?

    Mistress Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
    coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an
    abstract for the remembrance of such places, and
    goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

54 IV / 2
  • How might we disguise him?
  • How might we disguise him?
  • Mistress Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir
    John. Unless you go out disguised--

    Mistress Ford. How might we disguise him?

55 IV / 2
  • My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a
    gown above.
  • My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a
    gown above.
  • Falstaff. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather
    than a mischief.

    Mistress Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a
    gown above.

56 IV / 2
  • Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will
    look some linen for your he...
  • Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will
    look some linen for your head.
  • Mistress Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he
    is: and there's her thrummed hat and her muffler
    too. Run up, Sir John.

    Mistress Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will
    look some linen for your head.

57 IV / 2
  • I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he
    cannot abide the old wom...
  • I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he
    cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears
    she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath
    threatened to beat her.
  • Mistress Page. Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: put
    on the gown the while.

    Mistress Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he
    cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears
    she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath
    threatened to beat her.

58 IV / 2
  • But is my husband coming?
  • But is my husband coming?
  • Mistress Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the
    devil guide his cudgel afterwards!

    Mistress Ford. But is my husband coming?

59 IV / 2
  • We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the
    basket again, to meet h...
  • We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the
    basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as
    they did last time.
  • Mistress Page. Ah, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket
    too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

    Mistress Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the
    basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as
    they did last time.

60 IV / 2
  • I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the
    basket. Go up; I'll bri...
  • I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the
    basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.
  • Mistress Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him
    like the witch of Brentford.

    Mistress Ford. I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the
    basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.

61 IV / 2
  • Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders:
    your master is hard at do...
  • Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders:
    your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it
    down, obey him: quickly, dispatch.
  • Mistress Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.
    We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
    Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
    We do not act that often jest and laugh;
    'Tis old, but true, Still swine eat all the draff.

    Mistress Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders:
    your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it
    down, obey him: quickly, dispatch.

62 IV / 2
  • Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in
    any dishonesty.
  • Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in
    any dishonesty.
  • Ford. So say I too, sir.
    [Re-enter MISTRESS FORD]
    Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford the honest
    woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that
    hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect
    without cause, mistress, do I?

    Mistress Ford. Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in
    any dishonesty.

63 IV / 2
  • Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.
  • Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.
  • Page. This passes!

    Mistress Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

64 IV / 2
  • Why, man, why?
  • Why, man, why?
  • Ford. Empty the basket, I say!

    Mistress Ford. Why, man, why?

65 IV / 2
  • If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.
  • If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.
  • Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
    out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may
    not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is:
    my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.
    Pluck me out all the linen.

    Mistress Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

66 IV / 2
  • What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman
    down; my husband will co...
  • What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman
    down; my husband will come into the chamber.
  • Ford. Help to search my house this one time. If I find
    not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let
    me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of
    me, 'As jealous as Ford, Chat searched a hollow
    walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more;
    once more search with me.

    Mistress Ford. What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman
    down; my husband will come into the chamber.

67 IV / 2
  • Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.
  • Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.
  • Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that?

    Mistress Ford. Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.

68 IV / 2
  • Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him
    not strike the old woman.
  • Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him
    not strike the old woman.
  • Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not
    forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does
    she? We are simple men; we do not know what's
    brought to pass under the profession of
    fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells,
    by the figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond
    our element we know nothing. Come down, you witch,
    you hag, you; come down, I say!

    Mistress Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him
    not strike the old woman.

69 IV / 2
  • Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.
  • Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.
  • Mistress Page. Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the
    poor woman.

    Mistress Ford. Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.

70 IV / 2
  • Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most
    unpitifully, methought.
  • Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most
    unpitifully, methought.
  • Mistress Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.

    Mistress Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most
    unpitifully, methought.

71 IV / 2
  • What think you? may we, with the warrant of
    womanhood and the witness of a g...
  • What think you? may we, with the warrant of
    womanhood and the witness of a good conscience,
    pursue him with any further revenge?
  • Mistress Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o'er the
    altar; it hath done meritorious service.

    Mistress Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of
    womanhood and the witness of a good conscience,
    pursue him with any further revenge?

72 IV / 2
  • Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?
  • Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?
  • Mistress Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of
    him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with
    fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the
    way of waste, attempt us again.

    Mistress Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

73 IV / 2
  • I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and
    methinks there would be n...
  • I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and
    methinks there would be no period to the jest,
    should he not be publicly shamed.
  • Mistress Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the
    figures out of your husband's brains. If they can
    find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight
    shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be
    the ministers.

    Mistress Ford. I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and
    methinks there would be no period to the jest,
    should he not be publicly shamed.

74 IV / 4
  • Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
    And let us two devise to bring...
  • Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
    And let us two devise to bring him thither.
  • Page. So think I too.

    Mistress Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
    And let us two devise to bring him thither.

75 IV / 4
  • Marry, this is our device;
    That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
  • Marry, this is our device;
    That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
  • Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear
    In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
    But what of this?

    Mistress Ford. Marry, this is our device;
    That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.

76 IV / 4
  • And till he tell the truth,
    Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound
    And...
  • And till he tell the truth,
    Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound
    And burn him with their tapers.
  • Mistress Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
    Nan Page my daughter and my little son
    And three or four more of their growth we'll dress
    Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white,
    With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
    And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden,
    As Falstaff, she and I, are newly met,
    Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
    With some diffused song: upon their sight,
    We two in great amazedness will fly:
    Then let them all encircle him about
    And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight,
    And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
    In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
    In shape profane.

    Mistress Ford. And till he tell the truth,
    Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound
    And burn him with their tapers.

77 V / 3
  • Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the
    Welsh devil Hugh?
  • Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the
    Welsh devil Hugh?
  • Mistress Page. Fare you well, sir.
    [Exit DOCTOR CAIUS]
    My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of
    Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying
    my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little
    chiding than a great deal of heart-break.

    Mistress Ford. Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the
    Welsh devil Hugh?

78 V / 3
  • That cannot choose but amaze him.
  • That cannot choose but amaze him.
  • Mistress Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak,
    with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of
    Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once
    display to the night.

    Mistress Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

79 V / 3
  • We'll betray him finely.
  • We'll betray him finely.
  • Mistress Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be
    amazed, he will every way be mocked.

    Mistress Ford. We'll betray him finely.

80 V / 3
  • The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!
  • The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!
  • Mistress Page. Against such lewdsters and their lechery
    Those that betray them do no treachery.

    Mistress Ford. The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!

81 V / 5
  • Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?
  • Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?
  • Falstaff. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute
    draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!
    Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love
    set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some
    respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man
    a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love
    of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew
    to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in
    the form of a beast. O Jove, a beastly fault! And
    then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think
    on 't, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot
    backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a
    Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the
    forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can
    blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my
    doe?

    Mistress Ford. Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

82 V / 5
  • Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.
  • Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.
  • Falstaff. My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain
    potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green
    Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let
    there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.

    Mistress Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

83 V / 5
  • Heaven forgive our sins
  • Heaven forgive our sins
  • Mistress Page. Alas, what noise?

    Mistress Ford. Heaven forgive our sins

84 V / 5
  • [with Mistress Page] Away, away!
  • [with Mistress Page] Away, away!
  • Falstaff. What should this be?

    Mistress Ford. [with Mistress Page] Away, away!

85 V / 5
  • Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet.
    I will never take you f...
  • Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet.
    I will never take you for my love again; but I will
    always count you my deer.
  • Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook,
    Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his
    horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath
    enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his
    cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be
    paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for
    it, Master Brook.

    Mistress Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet.
    I will never take you for my love again; but I will
    always count you my deer.

© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.

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© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.