Speeches (Lines) for Slender in "The Merry Wives of Windsor"

Robert Shallow. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-
chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John
Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Slender. In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and
'Coram.'

Robert Shallow. Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.

Slender. Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,
master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any
bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'

Robert Shallow. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three
hundred years.

Slender. All his successors gone before him hath done't; and
all his ancestors that come after him may: they may
give the dozen white luces in their coat.

Robert Shallow. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

Slender. I may quarter, coz.

Sir Hugh Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
and there is also another device in my prain, which
peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there
is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas
Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slender. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks
small like a woman.

Sir Hugh Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as
you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,
and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his
death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
--give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master
Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

Slender. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Sir Hugh Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

Slender. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

Page. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slender. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he
was outrun on Cotsall.

Page. It could not be judged, sir.

Slender. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

Falstaff. Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your
head: what matter have you against me?

Slender. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
Nym, and Pistol.

Bardolph. You Banbury cheese!

Slender. Ay, it is no matter.

Pistol. How now, Mephostophilus!

Slender. Ay, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.

Slender. Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

Falstaff. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

Slender. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might
never come in mine own great chamber again else, of
seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two
pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Pistol. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
Word of denial in thy labras here!
Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!

Slender. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say
'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's
humour on me; that is the very note of it.

Slender. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for
though I cannot remember what I did when you made me
drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

Bardolph. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and
so conclusions passed the careires.

Slender. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,
but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have
the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.

Slender. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
we shall drink down all unkindness.

Slender. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
Songs and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE]
How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait
on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles
about you, have you?

Robert Shallow. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with
you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
here. Do you understand me?

Slender. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
I shall do that that is reason.

Robert Shallow. Nay, but understand me.

Slender. So I do, sir.

Sir Hugh Evans. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will
description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slender. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray
you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his
country, simple though I stand here.

Sir Hugh Evans. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

Slender. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
reasonable demands.

Robert Shallow. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

Slender. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that
would do reason.

Robert Shallow. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

Slender. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
request, cousin, in any reason.

Robert Shallow. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do
is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

Slender. I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there
be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may
decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
married and have more occasion to know one another;
I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:
but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that
I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Robert Shallow. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

Slender. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

Anne Page. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

Slender. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

Anne Page. The dinner attends you, sir.

Slender. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my
cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE]
A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his
friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I
live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne Page. I may not go in without your worship: they will not
sit till you come.

Slender. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
though I did.

Anne Page. I pray you, sir, walk in.

Slender. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
my shin th' other day with playing at sword and
dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a
dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot
abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

Anne Page. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slender. I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see
the bear loose, are you not?

Anne Page. Ay, indeed, sir.

Slender. That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
rough things.

Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

Slender. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

Page. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.

Slender. Nay, pray you, lead the way.

Page. Come on, sir.

Slender. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

Anne Page. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

Slender. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!

Page. Now, good master doctor!

Slender. Give you good morrow, sir.

Robert Shallow. How now, master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh.
Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student
from his book, and it is wonderful.

Slender. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Robert Shallow. Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slender. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!

Robert Shallow. I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

Slender. And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with
Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for
more money than I'll speak of.

Robert Shallow. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and
my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

Slender. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

Robert Shallow. Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall
speak for himself.

Slender. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but
venturing.

Robert Shallow. Be not dismayed.

Slender. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that,
but that I am afeard.

Robert Shallow. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

Slender. I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you
good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress
Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of
a pen, good uncle.

Robert Shallow. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Slender. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in
Gloucestershire.

Robert Shallow. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.

Slender. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the
degree of a squire.

Anne Page. Now, Master Slender,--

Slender. Now, good Mistress Anne,--

Anne Page. What is your will?

Slender. My will! 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest
indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I
am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne Page. I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?

Slender. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing
with you. Your father and my uncle hath made
motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be
his dole! They can tell you how things go better
than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-ditch till we
see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender,
my daughter.

Slender. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her and we have a
nay-word how to know one another: I come to her in
white, and cry 'mum;' she cries 'budget;' and by
that we know one another.

Mistress Page. [Aside] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my
daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.

Slender. Whoa ho! ho, father Page!

Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?

Slender. Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire
know on't; would I were hanged, la, else.

Page. Of what, son?

Slender. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page,
and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been
i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he
should have swinged me. If I did not think it had
been Anne Page, would I might never stir!--and 'tis
a postmaster's boy.

Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.

Slender. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took
a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for
all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had
him.

Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how
you should know my daughter by her garments?

Slender. I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she
cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet
it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.