Speeches (Lines) for Speed in "The Two Gentlemen of Verona"

Total: 117
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# Act / Scene Speech text
1 I / 1
  • Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
  • Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
  • Proteus. He after honour hunts, I after love:
    He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
    I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
    Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
    Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
    War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
    Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.

    Speed. Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?

2 I / 1
  • Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
    And I have play'd the sheep in los...
  • Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
    And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
  • Proteus. But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.

    Speed. Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
    And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.

3 I / 1
  • You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
    and I a sheep?
  • You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
    and I a sheep?
  • Proteus. Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
    An if the shepherd be a while away.

    Speed. You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
    and I a sheep?

4 I / 1
  • Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
  • Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
  • Proteus. I do.

    Speed. Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.

5 I / 1
  • This proves me still a sheep.
  • This proves me still a sheep.
  • Proteus. A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.

    Speed. This proves me still a sheep.

6 I / 1
  • Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
  • Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
  • Proteus. True; and thy master a shepherd.

    Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.

7 I / 1
  • The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
    shepherd; but I seek my...
  • The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
    shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
    not me: therefore I am no sheep.
  • Proteus. It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.

    Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
    shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
    not me: therefore I am no sheep.

8 I / 1
  • Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
  • Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
  • Proteus. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the
    shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
    wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
    follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.

    Speed. Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'

9 I / 1
  • Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
    a laced mutton, and she,...
  • Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
    a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
    lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
  • Proteus. But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?

    Speed. Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
    a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
    lost mutton, nothing for my labour.

10 I / 1
  • If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
  • If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
  • Proteus. Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.

    Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.

11 I / 1
  • Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
    carrying your letter.
  • Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
    carrying your letter.
  • Proteus. Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.

    Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
    carrying your letter.

12 I / 1
  • From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,
    'Tis threefold too little for...
  • From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,
    'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to
    your lover.
  • Proteus. You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold.

    Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,
    'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to
    your lover.

13 I / 1
  • [First nodding] Ay.
  • [First nodding] Ay.
  • Proteus. But what said she?

    Speed. [First nodding] Ay.

14 I / 1
  • You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask
    me if she did nod; and I s...
  • You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask
    me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.'
  • Proteus. Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy.

    Speed. You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask
    me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.'

15 I / 1
  • Now you have taken the pains to set it together,
    take it for your pains.
  • Now you have taken the pains to set it together,
    take it for your pains.
  • Proteus. And that set together is noddy.

    Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together,
    take it for your pains.

16 I / 1
  • Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
  • Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
  • Proteus. No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.

    Speed. Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.

17 I / 1
  • Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing
    but the word 'noddy' fo...
  • Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing
    but the word 'noddy' for my pains.
  • Proteus. Why sir, how do you bear with me?

    Speed. Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing
    but the word 'noddy' for my pains.

18 I / 1
  • And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
  • And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
  • Proteus. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.

    Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.

19 I / 1
  • Open your purse, that the money and the matter may
    be both at once delivered...
  • Open your purse, that the money and the matter may
    be both at once delivered.
  • Proteus. Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she?

    Speed. Open your purse, that the money and the matter may
    be both at once delivered.

20 I / 1
  • Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
  • Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
  • Proteus. Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?

    Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.

21 I / 1
  • Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,
    not so much as a ducat fo...
  • Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,
    not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:
    and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I
    fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your
    mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as
    hard as steel.
  • Proteus. Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?

    Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,
    not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:
    and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I
    fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your
    mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as
    hard as steel.

22 I / 1
  • No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To
    testify your bounty, I than...
  • No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To
    testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned
    me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your
    letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.
  • Proteus. What said she? nothing?

    Speed. No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To
    testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned
    me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your
    letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.

23 II / 1
  • Sir, your glove.
  • Sir, your glove.
  • Proteus. Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
    And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.'

    Speed. Sir, your glove.

24 II / 1
  • Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
  • Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
  • Valentine. Not mine; my gloves are on.

    Speed. Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.

25 II / 1
  • Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
  • Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
  • Valentine. Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
    Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
    Ah, Silvia, Silvia!

    Speed. Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

26 II / 1
  • She is not within hearing, sir.
  • She is not within hearing, sir.
  • Valentine. How now, sirrah?

    Speed. She is not within hearing, sir.

27 II / 1
  • Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
  • Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
  • Valentine. Why, sir, who bade you call her?

    Speed. Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

28 II / 1
  • And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
  • And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
  • Valentine. Well, you'll still be too forward.

    Speed. And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

29 II / 1
  • She that your worship loves?
  • She that your worship loves?
  • Valentine. Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

    Speed. She that your worship loves?

30 II / 1
  • Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
    learned, like Sir Proteus, to...
  • Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
    learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
    like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
    robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
    the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
    lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
    buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
    diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
    speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
    wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
    walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
    fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
    looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
    are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
    on you, I can hardly think you my master.
  • Valentine. Why, how know you that I am in love?

    Speed. Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
    learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
    like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
    robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
    the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
    lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
    buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
    diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
    speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
    wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
    walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
    fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
    looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
    are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
    on you, I can hardly think you my master.

31 II / 1
  • They are all perceived without ye.
  • They are all perceived without ye.
  • Valentine. Are all these things perceived in me?

    Speed. They are all perceived without ye.

32 II / 1
  • Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
    were so simple, none else...
  • Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
    were so simple, none else would: but you are so
    without these follies, that these follies are within
    you and shine through you like the water in an
    urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
    physician to comment on your malady.
  • Valentine. Without me? they cannot.

    Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
    were so simple, none else would: but you are so
    without these follies, that these follies are within
    you and shine through you like the water in an
    urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
    physician to comment on your malady.

33 II / 1
  • She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
  • She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
  • Valentine. But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

    Speed. She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?

34 II / 1
  • Why, sir, I know her not.
  • Why, sir, I know her not.
  • Valentine. Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.

    Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.

35 II / 1
  • Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
  • Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
  • Valentine. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
    knowest her not?

    Speed. Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

36 II / 1
  • Sir, I know that well enough.
  • Sir, I know that well enough.
  • Valentine. Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.

    Speed. Sir, I know that well enough.

37 II / 1
  • That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
  • That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
  • Valentine. What dost thou know?

    Speed. That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.

38 II / 1
  • That's because the one is painted and the other out
    of all count.
  • That's because the one is painted and the other out
    of all count.
  • Valentine. I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

    Speed. That's because the one is painted and the other out
    of all count.

39 II / 1
  • Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
    man counts of her beauty.
  • Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
    man counts of her beauty.
  • Valentine. How painted? and how out of count?

    Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
    man counts of her beauty.

40 II / 1
  • You never saw her since she was deformed.
  • You never saw her since she was deformed.
  • Valentine. How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.

    Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed.

41 II / 1
  • Ever since you loved her.
  • Ever since you loved her.
  • Valentine. How long hath she been deformed?

    Speed. Ever since you loved her.

42 II / 1
  • If you love her, you cannot see her.
  • If you love her, you cannot see her.
  • Valentine. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
    see her beautiful.

    Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.

43 II / 1
  • Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
    or your own eyes had the l...
  • Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
    or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
    have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
    ungartered!
  • Valentine. Why?

    Speed. Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
    or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
    have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
    ungartered!

44 II / 1
  • Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
    for he, being in love, cou...
  • Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
    for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
    hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
  • Valentine. What should I see then?

    Speed. Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
    for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
    hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.

45 II / 1
  • True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
    you swinged me for my lov...
  • True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
    you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
    bolder to chide you for yours.
  • Valentine. Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
    morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

    Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
    you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
    bolder to chide you for yours.

46 II / 1
  • I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
  • I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
  • Valentine. In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

    Speed. I would you were set, so your affection would cease.

47 II / 1
  • And have you?
  • And have you?
  • Valentine. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
    one she loves.

    Speed. And have you?

48 II / 1
  • Are they not lamely writ?
  • Are they not lamely writ?
  • Valentine. I have.

    Speed. Are they not lamely writ?

49 II / 1
  • [Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
    Now will he interpret to her...
  • [Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
    Now will he interpret to her.
  • Valentine. No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
    here she comes.

    Speed. [Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
    Now will he interpret to her.

50 II / 1
  • [Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.
  • [Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.
  • Valentine. Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.

    Speed. [Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.

51 II / 1
  • [Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.
  • [Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.
  • Silvia. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.

    Speed. [Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.

52 II / 1
  • [Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
  • [Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
  • Silvia. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
    And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
    And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
    Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

    Speed. [Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'

53 II / 1
  • O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
    As a nose on a man's face, or a weath...
  • O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
    As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
    My master sues to her, and she hath
    taught her suitor,
    He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
    O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
    That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
    the letter?
  • Silvia. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
    And so, good morrow, servant.

    Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
    As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
    My master sues to her, and she hath
    taught her suitor,
    He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
    O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
    That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
    the letter?

54 II / 1
  • Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
  • Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
  • Valentine. How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?

    Speed. Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.

55 II / 1
  • To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.
  • To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.
  • Valentine. To do what?

    Speed. To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.

56 II / 1
  • To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
  • To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
  • Valentine. To whom?

    Speed. To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.

57 II / 1
  • By a letter, I should say.
  • By a letter, I should say.
  • Valentine. What figure?

    Speed. By a letter, I should say.

58 II / 1
  • What need she, when she hath made you write to
    yourself? Why, do you not per...
  • What need she, when she hath made you write to
    yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
  • Valentine. Why, she hath not writ to me?

    Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to
    yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

59 II / 1
  • No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
    her earnest?
  • No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
    her earnest?
  • Valentine. No, believe me.

    Speed. No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
    her earnest?

60 II / 1
  • Why, she hath given you a letter.
  • Why, she hath given you a letter.
  • Valentine. She gave me none, except an angry word.

    Speed. Why, she hath given you a letter.

61 II / 1
  • And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
  • And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
  • Valentine. That's the letter I writ to her friend.

    Speed. And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.

62 II / 1
  • I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
    For often have you writ to her, and she, in...
  • I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
    For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
    Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
    Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
    Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
    All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
    Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
  • Valentine. I would it were no worse.

    Speed. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
    For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
    Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
    Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
    Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
    All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
    Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.

63 II / 1
  • Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
    feed on the air, I am on...
  • Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
    feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
    victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
    your mistress; be moved, be moved.
  • Valentine. I have dined.

    Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
    feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
    victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
    your mistress; be moved, be moved.

64 II / 4
  • Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.
  • Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.
  • Valentine. Mistress?

    Speed. Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.

65 II / 4
  • Not of you.
  • Not of you.
  • Valentine. Ay, boy, it's for love.

    Speed. Not of you.

66 II / 4
  • 'Twere good you knocked him.
  • 'Twere good you knocked him.
  • Valentine. Of my mistress, then.

    Speed. 'Twere good you knocked him.

67 II / 5
  • Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
  • Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
  • Proteus. I will.
    [Exit VALENTINE]
    Even as one heat another heat expels,
    Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
    So the remembrance of my former love
    Is by a newer object quite forgotten.
    Is it mine, or Valentine's praise,
    Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
    That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
    She is fair; and so is Julia that I love--
    That I did love, for now my love is thaw'd;
    Which, like a waxen image, 'gainst a fire,
    Bears no impression of the thing it was.
    Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
    And that I love him not as I was wont.
    O, but I love his lady too too much,
    And that's the reason I love him so little.
    How shall I dote on her with more advice,
    That thus without advice begin to love her!
    'Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
    And that hath dazzled my reason's light;
    But when I look on her perfections,
    There is no reason but I shall be blind.
    If I can cheque my erring love, I will;
    If not, to compass her I'll use my skill.

    Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

68 II / 5
  • Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
    presently; where, for one...
  • Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
    presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
    shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
    did thy master part with Madam Julia?
  • Launce. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
    welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
    undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
    place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
    say 'Welcome!'

    Speed. Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
    presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
    shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
    did thy master part with Madam Julia?

69 II / 5
  • But shall she marry him?
  • But shall she marry him?
  • Launce. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
    fairly in jest.

    Speed. But shall she marry him?

70 II / 5
  • How then? shall he marry her?
  • How then? shall he marry her?
  • Launce. No.

    Speed. How then? shall he marry her?

71 II / 5
  • What, are they broken?
  • What, are they broken?
  • Launce. No, neither.

    Speed. What, are they broken?

72 II / 5
  • Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
  • Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
  • Launce. No, they are both as whole as a fish.

    Speed. Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

73 II / 5
  • What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
  • What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
  • Launce. Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
    stands well with her.

    Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

74 II / 5
  • What thou sayest?
  • What thou sayest?
  • Launce. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
    staff understands me.

    Speed. What thou sayest?

75 II / 5
  • It stands under thee, indeed.
  • It stands under thee, indeed.
  • Launce. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
    and my staff understands me.

    Speed. It stands under thee, indeed.

76 II / 5
  • But tell me true, will't be a match?
  • But tell me true, will't be a match?
  • Launce. Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

    Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match?

77 II / 5
  • The conclusion is then that it will.
  • The conclusion is then that it will.
  • Launce. Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
    it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

    Speed. The conclusion is then that it will.

78 II / 5
  • 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
    thou, that my master is...
  • 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
    thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
  • Launce. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

    Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
    thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

79 II / 5
  • Than how?
  • Than how?
  • Launce. I never knew him otherwise.

    Speed. Than how?

80 II / 5
  • Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
  • Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
  • Launce. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

    Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.

81 II / 5
  • I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
  • I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
  • Launce. Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

    Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

82 II / 5
  • Why?
  • Why?
  • Launce. Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
    in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
    if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
    name of a Christian.

    Speed. Why?

83 II / 5
  • At thy service.
  • At thy service.
  • Launce. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
    go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

    Speed. At thy service.

84 III / 1
  • How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
    mastership?
  • How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
    mastership?
  • Launce. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
    think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
    all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
    that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
    team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
    'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
    will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
    'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
    a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
    wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
    which is much in a bare Christian.
    [Pulling out a paper]
    Here is the cate-log of her condition.
    'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
    can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
    carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
    She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
    with clean hands.

    Speed. How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
    mastership?

85 III / 1
  • Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
    news, then, in your paper?...
  • Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
    news, then, in your paper?
  • Launce. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.

    Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
    news, then, in your paper?

86 III / 1
  • Why, man, how black?
  • Why, man, how black?
  • Launce. The blackest news that ever thou heardest.

    Speed. Why, man, how black?

87 III / 1
  • Let me read them.
  • Let me read them.
  • Launce. Why, as black as ink.

    Speed. Let me read them.

88 III / 1
  • Thou liest; I can.
  • Thou liest; I can.
  • Launce. Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.

    Speed. Thou liest; I can.

89 III / 1
  • Marry, the son of my grandfather.
  • Marry, the son of my grandfather.
  • Launce. I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?

    Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather.

90 III / 1
  • Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.
  • Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.
  • Launce. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
    grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.

    Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.

91 III / 1
  • [Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'
  • [Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'
  • Launce. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!

    Speed. [Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'

92 III / 1
  • 'Item: She brews good ale.'
  • 'Item: She brews good ale.'
  • Launce. Ay, that she can.

    Speed. 'Item: She brews good ale.'

93 III / 1
  • 'Item: She can sew.'
  • 'Item: She can sew.'
  • Launce. And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
    heart, you brew good ale.'

    Speed. 'Item: She can sew.'

94 III / 1
  • 'Item: She can knit.'
  • 'Item: She can knit.'
  • Launce. That's as much as to say, Can she so?

    Speed. 'Item: She can knit.'

95 III / 1
  • 'Item: She can wash and scour.'
  • 'Item: She can wash and scour.'
  • Launce. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
    she can knit him a stock?

    Speed. 'Item: She can wash and scour.'

96 III / 1
  • 'Item: She can spin.'
  • 'Item: She can spin.'
  • Launce. A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
    and scoured.

    Speed. 'Item: She can spin.'

97 III / 1
  • 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'
  • 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'
  • Launce. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
    spin for her living.

    Speed. 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'

98 III / 1
  • 'Here follow her vices.'
  • 'Here follow her vices.'
  • Launce. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
    indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.

    Speed. 'Here follow her vices.'

99 III / 1
  • 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect
    of her breath.'
  • 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect
    of her breath.'
  • Launce. Close at the heels of her virtues.

    Speed. 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect
    of her breath.'

100 III / 1
  • 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'
  • 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'
  • Launce. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.

    Speed. 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'

101 III / 1
  • 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'
  • 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'
  • Launce. That makes amends for her sour breath.

    Speed. 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'

102 III / 1
  • 'Item: She is slow in words.'
  • 'Item: She is slow in words.'
  • Launce. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

    Speed. 'Item: She is slow in words.'

103 III / 1
  • 'Item: She is proud.'
  • 'Item: She is proud.'
  • Launce. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
    be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
    thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.

    Speed. 'Item: She is proud.'

104 III / 1
  • 'Item: She hath no teeth.'
  • 'Item: She hath no teeth.'
  • Launce. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
    be ta'en from her.

    Speed. 'Item: She hath no teeth.'

105 III / 1
  • 'Item: She is curst.'
  • 'Item: She is curst.'
  • Launce. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.

    Speed. 'Item: She is curst.'

106 III / 1
  • 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'
  • 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'
  • Launce. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.

    Speed. 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'

107 III / 1
  • 'Item: She is too liberal.'
  • 'Item: She is too liberal.'
  • Launce. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
    will; for good things should be praised.

    Speed. 'Item: She is too liberal.'

108 III / 1
  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
    than hairs, and more wea...
  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
    than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'
  • Launce. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
    is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
    I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
    that cannot I help. Well, proceed.

    Speed. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
    than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'

109 III / 1
  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--
  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--
  • Launce. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
    mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
    Rehearse that once more.

    Speed. 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--

110 III / 1
  • 'And more faults than hairs,'--
  • 'And more faults than hairs,'--
  • Launce. More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
    cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
    is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
    is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
    less. What's next?

    Speed. 'And more faults than hairs,'--

111 III / 1
  • 'And more wealth than faults.'
  • 'And more wealth than faults.'
  • Launce. That's monstrous: O, that that were out!

    Speed. 'And more wealth than faults.'

112 III / 1
  • What then?
  • What then?
  • Launce. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
    I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
    impossible,--

    Speed. What then?

113 III / 1
  • For me?
  • For me?
  • Launce. Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays
    for thee at the North-gate.

    Speed. For me?

114 III / 1
  • And must I go to him?
  • And must I go to him?
  • Launce. For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
    better man than thee.

    Speed. And must I go to him?

115 III / 1
  • Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!
  • Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!
  • Launce. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
    that going will scarce serve the turn.

    Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!

116 IV / 1
  • Sir, we are undone; these are the villains
    That all the travellers do fear s...
  • Sir, we are undone; these are the villains
    That all the travellers do fear so much.
  • Third Outlaw. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye:
    If not: we'll make you sit and rifle you.

    Speed. Sir, we are undone; these are the villains
    That all the travellers do fear so much.

117 IV / 1
  • Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind of thievery.
  • Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind of thievery.
  • First Outlaw. We'll have him. Sirs, a word.

    Speed. Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind of thievery.

© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.

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© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.