History of Henry IV, Part II (1597-8)

Intro
Title Variant: The Second Part of Henry the Fourth
Online Critical Edition in Progress - Version 1.a.
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Act V, Scene 1

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house

Robert Shallow
By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.
What, Davy, I say!

Falstaff
You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.

Robert Shallow
I will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd;
shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you
not be excus'd. Why, Davy!

Davy
Here, sir.

Robert Shallow
Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see,
Davy; let me see--yea, marry, William cook, bid him come
Sir John, you shall not be excus'd.

Davy
Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served; and,
again, sir--shall we sow the headland with wheat?

Robert Shallow
With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook--are there
young pigeons?

Davy
Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and
plough-irons.

Robert Shallow
Let it be cast, and paid. Sir John, you shall not be
excused.

Davy
Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had;
sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages about the
lost the other day at Hinckley fair?

Robert Shallow
'A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of
short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little
kickshaws, tell William cook.

Davy
Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?

Robert Shallow
Yea, Davy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court
better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for
are arrant knaves and will backbite.

Davy
No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they have
marvellous foul linen.

Robert Shallow
Well conceited, Davy--about thy business, Davy.

Davy
I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.

Robert Shallow
There, is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor.
Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.

Davy
I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet God
forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his
friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for
himself, when a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship
sir, this eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter
bear out a knave against an honest man, I have but a very
credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend,
therefore, I beseech you, let him be countenanc'd.

Robert Shallow
Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about,

Davy
[Exit DAVY] Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come,
with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.

Bardolph
I am glad to see your worship.

Robert Shallow
I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph.
[To the PAGE] And welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.

Falstaff
I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
[Exit SHALLOW] Bardolph, look to our horses. [Exeunt
and PAGE] If I were sawed into quantities, I should make
dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It
wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's
spirits and his. They, by observing of him, do bear
like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned
into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married
conjunction with the participation of society that they flock
together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suit
Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of
being near their master; if to his men, I would curry with
Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is
certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men take
of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this
to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of
fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and 'a shall
without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a slight
oath, and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that
had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh
his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!

Robert Shallow
[Within] Sir John!

Falstaff
I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.

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