History of Henry IV, Part II (1597-8)

Intro
Title Variant: The Second Part of Henry the Fourth
Online Critical Edition in Progress - Version 1.a.
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Act V, Scene 3

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S orchard

Robert Shallow
Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we
will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffing, with a
of caraways, and so forth. Come, cousin Silence. And then to

Falstaff
Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and rich.

Robert Shallow
Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir
-marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread, Davy; well said,

Falstaff
This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your
serving-man and your husband.

Robert Shallow
A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir
John. By the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper. A
varlet. Now sit down, now sit down; come, cousin.

Silence
Ah, sirrah! quoth-a--we shall [Singing]
Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there,
So merrily,
And ever among so merrily.

Falstaff
There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll give
a health for that anon.

Robert Shallow
Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.

Davy
Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir,
Master Page, good Master Page, sit. Proface! What you want in
meat, we'll have in drink. But you must bear; the heart's

Robert Shallow
Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier
be merry.

Silence
[Singing]
Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
For women are shrews, both short and tall;
'Tis merry in hall when beards wag an;
And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
Be merry, be merry.

Falstaff
I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this
mettle.

Silence
Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.

Davy
[To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.

Davy
Your worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH]
A cup of wine, sir?

Silence
[Singing]
A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.

Falstaff
Well said, Master Silence.

Silence
An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' th'

Falstaff
Health and long life to you, Master Silence!

Silence
[Singing]
Fill the cup, and let it come,
I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom.

Robert Shallow
Honest Bardolph, welcome; if thou want'st anything and
wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny
and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to
the cabileros about London.

Davy
I hope to see London once ere I die.

Bardolph
An I might see you there, Davy!

Robert Shallow
By the mass, you'll crack a quart together--ha! will
not, Master Bardolph?

Bardolph
Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.

Robert Shallow
By God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick
thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out, 'a; 'tis true
bred.

Bardolph
And I'll stick by him, sir.

Robert Shallow
Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry.
[One knocks at door] Look who's at door there, ho! Who

Falstaff
[To SILENCE, who has drunk a bumper] Why, now you
done me right.

Silence
[Singing]
Do me right,
And dub me knight.
Samingo.
Is't not so?

Falstaff
'Tis so.

Silence
Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.

Davy
An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from
court with news.

Falstaff
From the court? Let him come in.
[Enter PISTOL]
How now, Pistol?

Pistol
Sir John, God save you!

Falstaff
What wind blew you hither, Pistol?

Pistol
Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.

Silence
By'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.

Pistol
Puff!
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.

Falstaff
I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this

Pistol
A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.

Falstaff
O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.

Silence
[Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.

Pistol
Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.

Robert Shallow
Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.

Pistol
Why, then, lament therefore.

Robert Shallow
Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from
court, I take it there's but two ways--either to utter them
conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority.

Pistol
Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.

Robert Shallow
Under King Harry.

Pistol
Harry the Fourth--or Fifth?

Robert Shallow
Harry the Fourth.

Pistol
A foutra for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.

Falstaff
What, is the old king dead?

Pistol
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.

Falstaff
Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol,
will double-charge thee with dignities.

Bardolph
O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.

Pistol
What, I do bring good news?

Falstaff
Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord
Shallow, be what thou wilt--I am Fortune's steward. Get on
boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
[Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal
devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed
they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief

Pistol
Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they.
Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt

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