The Taming of the Shrew (1590-1)

Intro
Online Critical Edition in Progress - Version 1.b.
Date variant: 1590-3
Shakespeare Network - https://shakespearenetwork.net/

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Act V, Scene 1

Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house

Biondello
Softly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.

Lucentio
I fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at
home, therefore leave us.

Biondello
Nay, faith, I'll see the church a your back, and then
come back to my master's as soon as I can.

Gremio
I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

Petruchio
Sir, here's the door; this is Lucentio's house;
My father's bears more toward the market-place;
Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

Vincentio
You shall not choose but drink before you go;
I think I shall command your welcome here,
And by all likelihood some cheer is toward. [Knocks]

Gremio
They're busy within; you were best knock louder.

Pedant
What's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

Vincentio
Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

Pedant
He's within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

Vincentio
What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make
merry withal?

Pedant
Keep your hundred pounds to yourself; he shall need none so
long as I live.

Petruchio
Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do
you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell
Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here
at the door to speak with him.

Pedant
Thou liest: his father is come from Padua, and here looking
out at the window.

Vincentio
Art thou his father?

Pedant
Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

Petruchio
[To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman!
Why, this is flat knavery to take upon you another man's name.

Pedant
Lay hands on the villain; I believe 'a means to cozen
somebody in this city under my countenance.

Biondello
I have seen them in the church together. God send 'em
good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vincentio! Now we
are undone and brought to nothing.

Vincentio
[Seeing BIONDELLO] Come hither, crack-hemp.

Biondello
I hope I may choose, sir.

Vincentio
Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

Biondello
Forgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never
saw you before in all my life.

Vincentio
What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy
master's father, Vincentio?

Biondello
What, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see
where he looks out of the window.

Vincentio
Is't so, indeed? [He beats BIONDELLO]

Biondello
Help, help, help! Here's a madman will murder me.

Pedant
Help, son! help, Signior Baptista! Exit from above

Petruchio
Prithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of this
controversy. [They stand aside]
Re-enter PEDANT below; BAPTISTA, TRANIO, and SERVANTS

Tranio
Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

Vincentio
What am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods!
O fine villain! A silken doublet, a velvet hose, a scarlet cloak,
and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! While I play the
good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the
university.

Tranio
How now! what's the matter?

Baptista Minola
What, is the man lunatic?

Tranio
Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but
your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what 'cerns it you if I
wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to
maintain it.

Vincentio
Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

Baptista Minola
You mistake, sir; you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you
think is his name?

Vincentio
His name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him
up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

Pedant
Away, away, mad ass! His name is Lucentio; and he is mine
only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vicentio.

Vincentio
Lucentio! O, he hath murd'red his master! Lay hold on
him, I charge you, in the Duke's name. O, my son, my son! Tell
me, thou villain, where is my son, Lucentio?

Tranio
Call forth an officer.
[Enter one with an OFFICER]
Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you
see that he be forthcoming.

Vincentio
Carry me to the gaol!

Gremio
Stay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.

Baptista Minola
Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.

Gremio
Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch'd in
this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

Pedant
Swear if thou dar'st.

Gremio
Nay, I dare not swear it.

Tranio
Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

Gremio
Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

Baptista Minola
Away with the dotard; to the gaol with him!

Vincentio
Thus strangers may be hal'd and abus'd. O monstrous
villain!

Biondello
O, we are spoil'd; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear
him, or else we are all undone.

Lucentio
[Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

Vincentio
Lives my sweet son?

Bianca
Pardon, dear father.

Baptista Minola
How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?

Lucentio
Here's Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio,
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes blear'd thine eyne.

Gremio
Here's packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!

Vincentio
Where is that damned villain, Tranio,
That fac'd and brav'd me in this matter so?

Baptista Minola
Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

Bianca
Cambio is chang'd into Lucentio.

Lucentio
Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforc'd him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

Vincentio
I'll slit the villain's nose that would have sent me to
the gaol.

Baptista Minola
[To LUCENTIO] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my
daughter without asking my good will?

Vincentio
Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I
will in to be revenged for this villainy. Exit

Baptista Minola
And I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit

Lucentio
Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Gremio
My cake is dough, but I'll in among the rest;
Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit

Katherina
Husband, let's follow to see the end of this ado.

Petruchio
First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

Katherina
What, in the midst of the street?

Petruchio
What, art thou asham'd of me?

Katherina
No, sir; God forbid; but asham'd to kiss.

Petruchio
Why, then, let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.

Katherina
Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.

Petruchio
Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late. Exeunt

Act V, Scene 2

LUCENTIO'S house

Lucentio
At last, though long, our jarring notes agree;
And time it is when raging war is done
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.
My banquet is to close our stomachs up
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]

Petruchio
Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Baptista Minola
Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

Petruchio
Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

Hortensio
For both our sakes I would that word were true.

Petruchio
Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

Widow
Then never trust me if I be afeard.

Petruchio
YOU are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.

Widow
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Petruchio
Roundly replied.

Katherina
Mistress, how mean you that?

Widow
Thus I conceive by him.

Petruchio
Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

Hortensio
My widow says thus she conceives her tale.

Petruchio
Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

Katherina
'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.'
I pray you tell me what you meant by that.

Widow
Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe;
And now you know my meaning.

Katherina
A very mean meaning.

Widow
Right, I mean you.

Katherina
And I am mean, indeed, respecting you.

Petruchio
To her, Kate!

Hortensio
To her, widow!

Petruchio
A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

Hortensio
That's my office.

Petruchio
Spoke like an officer- ha' to thee, lad.

Baptista Minola
How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

Gremio
Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

Bianca
Head and butt! An hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

Vincentio
Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?

Bianca
Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.

Petruchio
Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two.

Bianca
Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush,
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.

Petruchio
She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio,
This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not;
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.

Tranio
O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself, and catches for his master.

Petruchio
A good swift simile, but something currish.

Tranio
'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself;
'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

Baptista Minola
O, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

Lucentio
I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

Hortensio
Confess, confess; hath he not hit you here?

Petruchio
'A has a little gall'd me, I confess;
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.

Baptista Minola
Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

Petruchio
Well, I say no; and therefore, for assurance,
Let's each one send unto his wife,
And he whose wife is most obedient,
To come at first when he doth send for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.

Hortensio
Content. What's the wager?

Lucentio
Twenty crowns.

Petruchio
Twenty crowns?
I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.

Lucentio
A hundred then.

Hortensio
Content.

Petruchio
A match! 'tis done.

Hortensio
Who shall begin?

Lucentio
That will I.
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

Biondello
I go. Exit

Baptista Minola
Son, I'll be your half Bianca comes.

Lucentio
I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
How now! what news?

Biondello
Sir, my mistress sends you word
That she is busy and she cannot come.

Petruchio
How! She's busy, and she cannot come!
Is that an answer?

Gremio
Ay, and a kind one too.
Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.

Petruchio
I hope better.

Hortensio
Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife
To come to me forthwith. Exit BIONDELLO

Petruchio
O, ho! entreat her!
Nay, then she must needs come.

Hortensio
I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
Now, where's my wife?

Biondello
She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
She will not come; she bids you come to her.

Petruchio
Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,
Intolerable, not to be endur'd!
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;
Say I command her come to me. Exit GRUMIO

Hortensio
I know her answer.

Hortensio
She will not.

Petruchio
The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.

Baptista Minola
Now, by my holidame, here comes Katherina!

Katherina
What is your sir, that you send for me?

Petruchio
Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?

Katherina
They sit conferring by the parlour fire.

Petruchio
Go, fetch them hither; if they deny to come.
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands.
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.

Lucentio
Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.

Hortensio
And so it is. I wonder what it bodes.

Petruchio
Marry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life,
An awful rule, and right supremacy;
And, to be short, what not that's sweet and happy.

Baptista Minola
Now fair befall thee, good Petruchio!
The wager thou hast won; and I will add
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Another dowry to another daughter,
For she is chang'd, as she had never been.

Petruchio
Nay, I will win my wager better yet,
And show more sign of her obedience,
Her new-built virtue and obedience.
[Re-enter KATHERINA with BIANCA and WIDOW]
See where she comes, and brings your froward wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not:
Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot.

Widow
Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh
Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

Bianca
Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?

Lucentio
I would your duty were as foolish too;
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
Hath cost me a hundred crowns since supper-time!

Bianca
The more fool you for laying on my duty.

Petruchio
Katherine, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.

Widow
Come, come, you're mocking; we will have no telling.

Petruchio
Come on, I say; and first begin with her.

Widow
She shall not.

Petruchio
I say she shall. And first begin with her.

Katherina
Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled-
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience-
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am asham'd that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you forward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot;
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease.

Petruchio
Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.

Lucentio
Well, go thy ways, old lad, for thou shalt ha't.

Vincentio
'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.

Lucentio
But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

Petruchio
Come, Kate, we'll to bed.
We three are married, but you two are sped.
[To LUCENTIO] 'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;
And being a winner, God give you good night!

Hortensio
Now go thy ways; thou hast tam'd a curst shrow.

Lucentio
'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tam'd so.

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© Copyright 2017-2022 Shakespeare Network - Maximianno Cobra - All rights reserved.