Speeches (Lines) for SCHOOLMASTER in "The Two Noble Kinsmen"

DAUGHTER. [Enter Jailer's Daughter.]
I am very cold, and all the stars are out too,
The little stars and all, that look like aglets.
The sun has seen my folly.--Palamon!
Alas, no; he's in heaven. Where am I now?
Yonder's the sea, and there's a ship. How 't tumbles!
And there's a rock lies watching under water.
Now, now, it beats upon it; now, now, now,
There's a leak sprung, a sound one! How they cry!
Open her before the wind; you'll lose all else.
Up with a course or two, and tack about, boys!
Good night, good night; you're gone. I am very hungry.
Would I could find a fine frog; he would tell me
News from all parts o' th' world; then would I make
A carrack of a cockleshell, and sail
By east and northeast to the king of pygmies,
For he tells fortunes rarely. Now my father,
Twenty to one, is trussed up in a trice
Tomorrow morning. I'll say never a word.

[Sing.]
For I'll cut my green coat a foot above my knee,
And I'll clip my yellow locks an inch below mine eye.
Hey nonny, nonny, nonny.
He's buy me a white cut, forth for to ride,
And I'll go seek him through the world that is so wide.
Hey nonny, nonny, nonny.
O, for a prick now, like a nightingale,
To put my breast against. I shall sleep like a top else.

[She exits.]

SCHOOLMASTER. [Enter a Schoolmaster and six Countrymen,
one dressed as a Bavian.]
Fie, fie, what tediosity and disinsanity
is here among you! Have my rudiments been labored
so long with you, milked unto you, and, by a
figure, even the very plum broth and marrow of
my understanding laid upon you, and do you still
cry "Where?" and "How?" and "Wherefore?" You
most coarse-frieze capacities, you jean judgments,
have I said "Thus let be" and "There let be"
and "Then let be" and no man understand me? Proh
deum, medius fidius, you are all dunces! Forwhy,
here stand I; here the Duke comes; there are you,
close in the thicket; the Duke appears; I meet him
and unto him I utter learned things and many figures;
he hears, and nods, and hums, and then cries
"Rare!" and I go forward. At length I fling my cap
up--mark there! Then do you as once did Meleager
and the boar--break comely out before him;
like true lovers, cast yourselves in a body decently,
and sweetly, by a figure, trace and turn, boys.

TABORER. Here, my mad boys. Have at you!

SCHOOLMASTER. But I say, where's their women?

[Enter five Wenches.]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. And freckled Nell, that never failed her master.

SCHOOLMASTER. Where be your ribbons, maids? Swim
with your bodies, and carry it sweetly and deliverly,
and now and then a favor and a frisk.

NELL. Let us alone, sir.

SCHOOLMASTER. Where's the rest o' th' music?

THIRD COUNTRYMAN. Dispersed, as you commanded.

SCHOOLMASTER. Couple, then, and see what's wanting.
Where's the Bavian?--My friend, carry your tail
without offense or scandal to the ladies; and be
sure you tumble with audacity and manhood, and
when you bark, do it with judgment.

BAVIAN. Yes, sir.

SCHOOLMASTER. Quo usque tandem? Here is a woman wanting.

FOURTH COUNTRYMAN. We may go whistle; all the fat's i' th' fire.

SCHOOLMASTER. We have, as learned authors utter,
washed a tile; we have been fatuus and labored vainly.

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. This is that scornful piece, that
scurvy hilding that gave her promise faithfully she
would be here--Cicely, the sempster's daughter.
The next gloves that I give her shall be dogskin;
nay, an she fail me once--you can tell, Arcas, she
swore by wine and bread she would not break.

SCHOOLMASTER. An eel and woman, a learned poet
says, unless by th' tail and with thy teeth thou hold,
will either fail. In manners, this was false position.

THIRD COUNTRYMAN. What shall we determine, sir?

SCHOOLMASTER. Nothing. Our business is become a
nullity, yea, and a woeful and a piteous nullity.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. A madwoman? We are made, boys.

SCHOOLMASTER. [to Jailer's Daughter]
And are you mad,
good woman?

DAUGHTER. I would be sorry else. Give me your hand.

SCHOOLMASTER. Why?

DAUGHTER. I can tell your fortune.

[She looks at his hand.]

You are a fool. Tell ten.--I have posed him.
Buzz!--Friend, you must eat no white bread; if
you do, your teeth will bleed extremely. Shall we
dance, ho? I know you, you're a tinker. Sirrah tinker,
stop no more holes but what you should.

SCHOOLMASTER. Dii boni! A tinker, damsel?

DAUGHTER. Or a conjurer. Raise me a devil now, and let
him play Chi passa o' th' bells and bones.

SCHOOLMASTER. Go, take her, and fluently persuade her
to a peace. Et opus exegi, quod nec Iovis ira, nec
ignis. Strike up, and lead her in.

THIRD COUNTRYMAN. Do, do!

SCHOOLMASTER. Persuasively, and cunningly.
[Wind horns.]
Away, boys! I hear the horns. Give me some
meditation, and mark your cue.
[All but Schoolmaster exit.]
Pallas, inspire me!

[Enter Theseus, Pirithous, Hippolyta, Emilia, and train.]

THESEUS. This way the stag took.

SCHOOLMASTER. Stay, and edify!

THESEUS. [to Schoolmaster]
Well, sir, go forward. We will "edify."

[Chairs and stools brought out.]

Ladies, sit down. We'll stay it.

[Theseus, Hippolyta, and Emilia sit.]

SCHOOLMASTER. Thou doughty duke, all hail!--All hail, sweet ladies!

THESEUS. [aside]
This is a cold beginning.

SCHOOLMASTER. If you but favor, our country pastime made is.
We are a few of those collected here
That ruder tongues distinguish "villager."
And to say verity, and not to fable,
We are a merry rout, or else a rabble,
Or company, or by a figure, chorus,
That 'fore thy dignity will dance a morris.
And I that am the rectifier of all,
By title pedagogus, that let fall
The birch upon the breeches of the small ones,
And humble with a ferula the tall ones,
Do here present this machine, or this frame.
And, dainty duke, whose doughty dismal fame
From Dis to Daedalus, from post to pillar,
Is blown abroad, help me, thy poor well-willer,
And with thy twinkling eyes look right and straight
Upon this mighty "Morr," of mickle weight--
"Is" now comes in, which being glued together
Makes "Morris," and the cause that we came hither.
The body of our sport, of no small study,
I first appear, though rude, and raw, and muddy,
To speak before thy noble grace this tenner,
At whose great feet I offer up my penner.
The next, the Lord of May and Lady bright,
The Chambermaid and Servingman by night
That seek out silent hanging; then mine Host
And his fat Spouse, that welcomes to their cost
The galled traveler, and with a beck'ning
Informs the tapster to inflame the reck'ning;
Then the beest-eating Clown; and next the Fool,
The Bavian with long tail and eke long tool,
Cum multis aliis that make a dance;
Say "ay," and all shall presently advance.

THESEUS. Now to our sports again.

SCHOOLMASTER. May the stag thou hunt'st stand long,
And thy dogs be swift and strong;
May they kill him without lets,
And the ladies eat his dowsets.
[Wind horns within. Theseus, Hippolyta,
Emilia, Pirithous, and Train exit.]
Come, we are all made. Dii deaeque omnes,
You have danced rarely, wenches.

[They exit.]