Speeches (Lines) for Page in "The Merry Wives of Windsor"

Sir Hugh Evans. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I
beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks]
What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

Page. [Within] Who's there?

Sir Hugh Evans. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that
peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
matters grow to your likings.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well.
I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

Robert Shallow. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it
your good heart! I wished your venison better; it
was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I
thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

Page. Sir, I thank you.

Robert Shallow. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

Page. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slender. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he
was outrun on Cotsall.

Page. It could not be judged, sir.

Robert Shallow. That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;
'tis a good dog.

Page. A cur, sir.

Robert Shallow. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be
more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John
Falstaff here?

Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good
office between you.

Robert Shallow. He hath wronged me, Master Page.

Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Robert Shallow. If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that
so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he
hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert
Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

Page. Here comes Sir John.

Sir Hugh Evans. Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that
is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is
myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it and end it between them.

Falstaff. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
[Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD]
and MISTRESS PAGE, following]

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.

Slender. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

Page. How now, Mistress Ford!

Falstaff. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
by your leave, good mistress.

Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
we shall drink down all unkindness.

Slender. That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
rough things.

Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

Slender. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

Page. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.

Slender. Nay, pray you, lead the way.

Page. Come on, sir.

Nym. [To PAGE] And this is true; I like not the humour
of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I
should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I
have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity.
He loves your wife; there's the short and the long.
My name is Corporal Nym; I speak and I avouch; 'tis
true: my name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife.
Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese,
and there's the humour of it. Adieu.

Page. 'The humour of it,' quoth a'! here's a fellow
frights English out of his wits.

Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.

Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.

Ford. If I do find it: well.

Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest
o' the town commended him for a true man.

Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well.

Page. How now, Meg!

Mistress Page. Go in with us and see: we have an hour's talk with
you.

Page. How now, Master Ford!

Ford. You heard what this knave told me, did you not?

Page. Yes: and you heard what the other told me?

Ford. Do you think there is truth in them?

Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would
offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded men;
very rogues, now they be out of service.

Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry, were they.

Ford. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
the Garter?

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and
what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it
lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to
turn them together. A man may be too confident: I
would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes:
there is either liquor in his pate or money in his
purse when he looks so merrily.
[Enter Host]
How now, mine host!

Robert Shallow. Have with you, mine host.

Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in
his rapier.

Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag?

Page. Have with you. I would rather hear them scold than fight.

Robert Shallow. Save you, Master Doctor Caius!

Page. Now, good master doctor!

Robert Shallow. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of
souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should
fight, you go against the hair of your professions.
Is it not true, Master Page?

Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.

Robert Shallow. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of
the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one. Though we are justices and doctors and
churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our
youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.

Page. 'Tis true, Master Shallow.

Host. And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
through the town to Frogmore.

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Robert Shallow. We will do it.

Page. [with Shallow and Slender] Adieu, good master doctor.

Slender. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Page. 'Save you, good Sir Hugh!

Robert Shallow. What, the sword and the word! do you study them
both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this
raw rheumatic day!

Sir Hugh Evans. There is reasons and causes for it.

Page. We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.

Sir Hugh Evans. Fery well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike
having received wrong by some person, is at most
odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you
saw.

Sir Hugh Evans. What is he?

Page. I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.

Sir Hugh Evans. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as
lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.

Page. Why?

Sir Hugh Evans. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,
--and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you
would desires to be acquainted withal.

Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

Robert Shallow. It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder:
here comes Doctor Caius.

Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.

Slender. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

Page. You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you:
but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Host. What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he
dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he
speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will
carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons; he
will carry't.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is
of no having: he kept company with the wild prince
and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too
much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes
with the finger of my substance: if he take her,
let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on
my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck!
Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck;
and of the season too, it shall appear.
[Exeunt Servants with the basket]
Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my
dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my
chambers; search, seek, find out: I'll warrant
we'll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first.
[Locking the door]
So, now uncape.

Page. Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Doctor Caius. By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not
jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.

Doctor Caius. By gar, nor I too: there is no bodies.

Page. Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? What
spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I
would not ha' your distemper in this kind for the
wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come, walk in
the Park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter
make known to you why I have done this. Come,
wife; come, Mistress Page. I pray you, pardon me;
pray heartily, pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock
him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house
to breakfast: after, we'll a-birding together; I
have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?

Slender. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing
with you. Your father and my uncle hath made
motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be
his dole! They can tell you how things go better
than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

Page. Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.
Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.

Mistress Page. Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.

Page. She is no match for you.

Fenton. Sir, will you hear me?

Page. No, good Master Fenton.
Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any
way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket,
villain! Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket!
O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a
pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil
be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!
Behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching!

Page. Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go
loose any longer; you must be pinioned.

Ford. Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah!

Page. This passes!

Mistress Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no man.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow;
see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus
upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: come,
gentlemen.

Sir Hugh Evans. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever
I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Ford. Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;
I rather will suspect the sun with cold
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more:
Be not as extreme in submission
As in offence.
But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page. How? to send him word they'll meet him in the park
at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come.

Sir Hugh Evans. You say he has been thrown in the rivers and has
been grievously peaten as an old 'oman: methinks
there should be terrors in him that he should not
come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have
no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mistress Page. There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree and takes the cattle
And makes milch-kine yield blood and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner:
You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Received and did deliver to our age
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mistress Ford. Marry, this is our device;
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come:
And in this shape when you have brought him thither,
What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

Mistress Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy.
[Aside]
And in that time
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away
And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.

Falstaff. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor
old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a
poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband,
hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him,
Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell
you: he beat me grievously, in the shape of a
woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear
not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know
also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along
with me: I'll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I
plucked geese, played truant and whipped top, I knew
not what 'twas to be beaten till lately. Follow
me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave
Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I
will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow.
Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow.

Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-ditch till we
see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender,
my daughter.

Robert Shallow. That's good too: but what needs either your 'mum'
or her 'budget?' the white will decipher her well
enough. It hath struck ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it
well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil
but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns.
Let's away; follow me.

Mistress Quickly. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!
About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme;
And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
SONG.
Fie on sinful fantasy!
Fie on lust and luxury!
Lust is but a bloody fire,
Kindled with unchaste desire,
Fed in heart, whose flames aspire
As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.
Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
Pinch him for his villany;
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about,
Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.
[During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS]
comes one way, and steals away a boy in green;
SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white;
and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE.
A noise of hunting is heard within. All the
Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's
head, and rises]

Page. Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now
Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn?

Mistress Page. A puffed man?

Page. Old, cold, withered and of intolerable entrails?

Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?

Page. And as poor as Job?

Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one
Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to
whom you should have been a pander: over and above
that you have suffered, I think to repay that money
will be a biting affliction.

Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset
to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to
laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her
Master Slender hath married her daughter.

Slender. Whoa ho! ho, father Page!

Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?

Slender. Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire
know on't; would I were hanged, la, else.

Page. Of what, son?

Slender. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page,
and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been
i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he
should have swinged me. If I did not think it had
been Anne Page, would I might never stir!--and 'tis
a postmaster's boy.

Page. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.

Slender. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took
a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for
all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had
him.

Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how
you should know my daughter by her garments?

Ford. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?

Page. My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton.
[Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE]
How now, Master Fenton!

Anne Page. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!

Page. Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?

Falstaff. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to
strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.

Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy!
What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced.