Speeches (Lines) for Edward Poins in "History of Henry IV, Part I"

Henry V. Good morrow, Ned.

Edward Poins. Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse?
what says Sir John Sack and Sugar? Jack! how
agrees the devil and thee about thy soul, that thou
soldest him on Good-Friday last for a cup of Madeira
and a cold capon's leg?

Henry V. Sir John stands to his word, the devil shall have
his bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of
proverbs: he will give the devil his due.

Edward Poins. Then art thou damned for keeping thy word with the devil.

Henry V. Else he had been damned for cozening the devil.

Edward Poins. But, my lads, my lads, to-morrow morning, by four
o'clock, early at Gadshill! there are pilgrims going
to Canterbury with rich offerings, and traders
riding to London with fat purses: I have vizards
for you all; you have horses for yourselves:
Gadshill lies to-night in Rochester: I have bespoke
supper to-morrow night in Eastcheap: we may do it
as secure as sleep. If you will go, I will stuff
your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry
at home and be hanged.

Falstaff. Hear ye, Yedward; if I tarry at home and go not,
I'll hang you for going.

Edward Poins. You will, chops?

Henry V. I care not.

Edward Poins. Sir John, I prithee, leave the prince and me alone:
I will lay him down such reasons for this adventure
that he shall go.

Henry V. Farewell, thou latter spring! farewell, All-hallown summer!

Edward Poins. Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us
to-morrow: I have a jest to execute that I cannot
manage alone. Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto and Gadshill
shall rob those men that we have already waylaid:
yourself and I will not be there; and when they
have the booty, if you and I do not rob them, cut
this head off from my shoulders.

Henry V. How shall we part with them in setting forth?

Edward Poins. Why, we will set forth before or after them, and
appoint them a place of meeting, wherein it is at
our pleasure to fail, and then will they adventure
upon the exploit themselves; which they shall have
no sooner achieved, but we'll set upon them.

Henry V. Yea, but 'tis like that they will know us by our
horses, by our habits and by every other
appointment, to be ourselves.

Edward Poins. Tut! our horses they shall not see: I'll tie them
in the wood; our vizards we will change after we
leave them: and, sirrah, I have cases of buckram
for the nonce, to immask our noted outward garments.

Henry V. Yea, but I doubt they will be too hard for us.

Edward Poins. Well, for two of them, I know them to be as
true-bred cowards as ever turned back; and for the
third, if he fight longer than he sees reason, I'll
forswear arms. The virtue of this jest will be, the
incomprehensible lies that this same fat rogue will
tell us when we meet at supper: how thirty, at
least, he fought with; what wards, what blows, what
extremities he endured; and in the reproof of this
lies the jest.

Henry V. Well, I'll go with thee: provide us all things
necessary and meet me to-morrow night in Eastcheap;
there I'll sup. Farewell.

Edward Poins. Farewell, my lord.

Gadshill. Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the
ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell,
you muddy knave.

Edward Poins. Come, shelter, shelter: I have removed Falstaff's
horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.

Falstaff. So I do, against my will.

Edward Poins. O, 'tis our setter: I know his voice. Bardolph,
what news?
money of the king's coming down the hill; 'tis going
to the king's exchequer.

Henry V. Well, we leave that to the proof.

Edward Poins. Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge:
when thou needest him, there thou shalt find him.
Farewell, and stand fast.

Henry V. Ned, where are our disguises?

Edward Poins. Here, hard by: stand close.

Henry V. The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou
and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it
would be argument for a week, laughter for a month
and a good jest for ever.

Edward Poins. Stand close; I hear them coming.

Henry V. Your money!

Edward Poins. Villains!
[As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon
them; they all run away; and Falstaff, after a blow
or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind them]

Henry V. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse:
The thieves are all scatter'd and possess'd with fear
So strongly that they dare not meet each other;
Each takes his fellow for an officer.
Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death,
And lards the lean earth as he walks along:
Were 't not for laughing, I should pity him.

Edward Poins. How the rogue roar'd!

Henry V. Ned, prithee, come out of that fat room, and lend me
thy hand to laugh a little.

Edward Poins. Where hast been, Hal?

Henry V. With three or four loggerheads amongst three or four
score hogsheads. I have sounded the very
base-string of humility. Sirrah, I am sworn brother
to a leash of drawers; and can call them all by
their christen names, as Tom, Dick, and Francis.
They take it already upon their salvation, that
though I be but the prince of Wales, yet I am king
of courtesy; and tell me flatly I am no proud Jack,
like Falstaff, but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, a
good boy, by the Lord, so they call me, and when I
am king of England, I shall command all the good
lads in Eastcheap. They call drinking deep, dyeing
scarlet; and when you breathe in your watering, they
cry 'hem!' and bid you play it off. To conclude, I
am so good a proficient in one quarter of an hour,
that I can drink with any tinker in his own language
during my life. I tell thee, Ned, thou hast lost
much honour, that thou wert not with me in this sweet
action. But, sweet Ned,--to sweeten which name of
Ned, I give thee this pennyworth of sugar, clapped
even now into my hand by an under-skinker, one that
never spake other English in his life than 'Eight
shillings and sixpence' and 'You are welcome,' with
this shrill addition, 'Anon, anon, sir! Score a pint
of bastard in the Half-Moon,' or so. But, Ned, to
drive away the time till Falstaff come, I prithee,
do thou stand in some by-room, while I question my
puny drawer to what end he gave me the sugar; and do
thou never leave calling 'Francis,' that his tale
to me may be nothing but 'Anon.' Step aside, and
I'll show thee a precedent.

Edward Poins. Francis!

Henry V. Thou art perfect.

Edward Poins. Francis!

Francis. Forsooth, five years, and as much as to--

Edward Poins. [Within] Francis!

Francis. O Lord, sir, I'll be sworn upon all the books in
England, I could find in my heart.

Edward Poins. [Within] Francis!

Francis. Let me see--about Michaelmas next I shall be--

Edward Poins. [Within] Francis!

Henry V. I will give thee for it a thousand pound: ask me
when thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.

Edward Poins. [Within] Francis!

Francis. What, sir?

Edward Poins. [Within] Francis!

Henry V. Let them alone awhile, and then open the door.
[Exit Vintner]
Poins!

Edward Poins. Anon, anon, sir.

Henry V. Sirrah, Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at
the door: shall we be merry?

Edward Poins. As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark ye; what
cunning match have you made with this jest of the
drawer? come, what's the issue?

Henry V. That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a
parrot, and yet the son of a woman! His industry is
upstairs and downstairs; his eloquence the parcel of
a reckoning. I am not yet of Percy's mind, the
Hotspur of the north; he that kills me some six or
seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes his
hands, and says to his wife 'Fie upon this quiet
life! I want work.' 'O my sweet Harry,' says she,
'how many hast thou killed to-day?' 'Give my roan
horse a drench,' says he; and answers 'Some
fourteen,' an hour after; 'a trifle, a trifle.' I
prithee, call in Falstaff: I'll play Percy, and
that damned brawn shall play Dame Mortimer his
wife. 'Rivo!' says the drunkard. Call in ribs, call in tallow.

Edward Poins. Welcome, Jack: where hast thou been?

Falstaff. Are not you a coward? answer me to that: and Poins there?

Edward Poins. 'Zounds, ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, by the
Lord, I'll stab thee.

Falstaff. Four, Hal; I told thee four.

Edward Poins. Ay, ay, he said four.

Falstaff. In buckram?

Edward Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits.

Falstaff. Their points being broken,--

Edward Poins. Down fell their hose.

Henry V. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal
green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy
hand? come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this?

Edward Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.

Henry V. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again: and
when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons,
hear me speak but this.

Edward Poins. Mark, Jack.

Henry V. We two saw you four set on four and bound them, and
were masters of their wealth. Mark now, how a plain
tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you
four; and, with a word, out-faced you from your
prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in
the house: and, Falstaff, you carried your guts
away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared
for mercy and still run and roared, as ever I heard
bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword
as thou hast done, and then say it was in fight!
What trick, what device, what starting-hole, canst
thou now find out to hide thee from this open and
apparent shame?

Edward Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?

Falstaff. My own knee! when I was about thy years, Hal, I was
not an eagle's talon in the waist; I could have
crept into any alderman's thumb-ring: a plague of
sighing and grief! it blows a man up like a
bladder. There's villanous news abroad: here was
Sir John Bracy from your father; you must to the
court in the morning. That same mad fellow of the
north, Percy, and he of Wales, that gave Amamon the
bastinado and made Lucifer cuckold and swore the
devil his true liegeman upon the cross of a Welsh
hook--what a plague call you him?

Edward Poins. O, Glendower.